[0:07] Well, welcome to Conversations. I'm Eric [0:10] Houston and I'm here today with Tracy [0:12] Young Bloom. Tracy has written a book [0:15] called Because We Must. Tracy, welcome [0:18] to the show. [0:18] >> Thank you. [0:19] >> So, tell me a little bit about the book. [0:22] Well, the book tells the story of [0:24] something that happened in my family, [0:26] specifically to my youngest son. Uh, in [0:29] 2015, he was driving back from college [0:32] in Fargo. He was a student at NDSU, and [0:35] he got hit head-on by a drunk driver who [0:38] was going the wrong way down the freeway [0:40] and um almost died. But then uh we found [0:44] out about three weeks into his recovery [0:46] that he had lost his eyesight as a [0:48] result of the accident. So, um, the book [0:52] is about the story of that and his [0:54] recovery and also my [0:57] attempts to cope, I guess, with the [0:59] situation. [1:00] >> Okay. And and when did this all happen? [1:03] >> The the sto the accident was in March of [1:06] 2015. [1:07] >> Okay. And then when did you when did it [1:08] become [1:10] >> how did you get to that place where it [1:12] felt like that a book was [1:14] >> Yeah. Um, that's a funny story actually [1:17] because when my son was in the hospital, [1:20] um, like four weeks after the accident [1:23] or so, he said to me, "Are you going to [1:26] write a book about me?" And at the time, [1:28] I sort of laughed it off. But then about [1:31] a year after the accident is when I kind [1:33] of did start writing more in earnest [1:36] about the experience. not sure that I [1:39] thought it was a book yet, but [1:41] >> within a couple years I was creating [1:44] material that I hoped would be a book um [1:47] eventually and then it was just [1:49] published um in March of this year. So [1:51] 10 years post accident. [1:53] >> Yeah. [1:54] >> So let's let's kind of go back a little [1:56] bit to that accident. I I imagine that [1:59] it how how did that feel? I can't [2:01] imagine it was [2:04] >> well um first of all it came out of [2:07] nowhere so the initial shock was [2:12] um you know was pretty great. [2:14] >> Um I didn't I didn't know when I was [2:18] driving to see my son in the hospital [2:21] because the accident happened near Fargo [2:23] so they took him back to Fargo. When I [2:25] was driving there I really had no idea [2:26] how bad it was. cuz I sort of had this [2:29] I don't know rosy view that it was it [2:32] was fine. So then when I saw him for the [2:35] first time I guess that's when I really [2:36] saw how serious it was. I barely [2:39] recognized him. Um so it was shocking [2:45] and awful but then you know his recovery [2:47] started to go very well right away. So I [2:50] would say that we as a family were felt [2:53] pretty hopeful, [2:55] >> you know, for several weeks and then [2:57] when we found out he that he had lost [2:59] his eyesight, that was another little [3:01] setback. Um [3:03] >> Sure. [3:04] >> Yeah. [3:04] >> Now you obviously that's what the book [3:06] is about is talking about the exp mostly [3:08] from your perspective, your experiences. [3:11] >> Yes. [3:11] >> With this tragedy and with dealing with [3:13] that and the grief that's associated [3:15] with it. And I know there's a section in [3:16] your book where you talk about finding [3:18] out about that he lost his eyesight. [3:20] >> Yes. [3:21] >> Would you care to share that with us? [3:22] >> Sure. I'll read um the first couple [3:24] paragraphs of the chapter where we find [3:26] out. It is called a sudden different [3:29] view. [3:31] >> On April 3rd, the Friday before Easter, [3:34] Rich and I stood at either side of our [3:36] sun as a doctor moved a pen light back [3:39] and forth in front of Elias's face, [3:42] instructing him to follow the beam with [3:43] his eyes. [3:45] This exam was routine. Many doctors had [3:48] performed it over the past three weeks. [3:51] But the scene had two new elements. We [3:53] had spent the day settling Elias into [3:56] his room on a regular floor of the [3:57] hospital. And this doctor was unknown to [4:00] us, not a familiar member of the ICU. [4:06] Okay, the doctor said, repeating the [4:08] motion for the second or third time. [4:11] Just move your eyes to follow the light. [4:14] Our son did nothing in response. [4:18] Finally, he shrugged his shoulders, [4:20] lifting both of his hands and holding [4:23] them up like empty bowls. [4:27] >> It's powerful and I clearly it's still [4:30] affecting to you as well. [4:32] >> Yeah. Yes, it is. [4:34] >> Has But did writing the book help you [4:37] to, you know, to come to terms with [4:40] those feelings and with that grief? [4:42] Um, I think that it did. [4:44] >> Mhm. [4:44] >> I think that it did. But I also would [4:48] say writing the book was very hard. [4:50] >> Yeah. [4:50] >> I mean it I mean I am kind of a night [4:54] owl writer anyway, but most of the [4:55] writing took place at night. Okay. [4:57] >> When I was by myself and the only one up [4:59] and it it parts of it were just really [5:02] wrenching to try to capture [5:04] >> um even though I wanted to write it down [5:06] and it certainly was gave me a way to [5:08] process some of what was happening. [5:11] Yeah. Yeah. Have you heard anything from [5:14] people who've read your book about if [5:15] it's been helping them to work through [5:17] grief of their own and similar [5:19] circumstances? [5:20] >> Actually, I have had some really really [5:23] um positive feedback from people. Um you [5:27] know, some people who have lost a child [5:30] for instance, which I gratefully did not [5:33] lose my child, just had a big change in [5:36] his life. But from other people who um [5:40] um [5:42] who are taking care of aging parents, [5:44] for instance, there's something about [5:46] that period of time when you're in the [5:48] hospital or in a hospital situation and [5:50] everything's up in the air and you don't [5:52] really know what to do and you're sort [5:54] of stuck there and trying to cope. Um [5:57] and then I just think I don't know. I [6:01] think loss is a part of life. So I think [6:02] that lots of different kinds of losses [6:05] um make people to respond to this lo the [6:08] particular loss in a different way in a [6:10] in a powerful way. [6:12] >> Yeah. Absolutely. Well, I'm I'm glad [6:14] that people are finding that in your [6:17] writing and you this is this is your [6:20] first memoir. [6:21] >> It is. Yeah. [6:23] >> But you've written plenty it seems [6:25] you're mostly a poet. Is that right? [6:27] >> Yeah. I have published two um shorter [6:29] books of poems called chatbooks and then [6:31] two fulllength collections of poems. [6:34] Yeah. [6:35] >> What was different about writing a [6:36] memoir from writing poetry? [6:39] >> Well, it was really interesting because [6:41] I do I have written a lot of pros, you [6:44] know, sort of standalone essays over the [6:47] years. I've always sort of done that. [6:49] So, there is something sort of familiar [6:51] to me about that kind of writing [6:53] paragraphs, sentences. I recognize that. [6:57] But I also simultaneously had no idea [7:00] how to put this together into a book [7:03] >> because when I started writing, I was [7:05] writing the individual chapters as sort [7:08] of individual essays because I wasn't [7:09] sure [7:11] >> what was going to happen if anything. [7:13] >> So then when I, you know, had enough [7:15] material and had to start putting it [7:16] together, then I really felt like at C, [7:18] I really didn't know what I was going to [7:20] do. But I had a lot of good friends who [7:22] are writers who read um drafts and [7:24] helped me out. So that was also great. [7:27] >> Terrific. [7:27] >> Yeah. [7:28] >> Well, great. Um you also teach writing. [7:31] >> I do. H [7:32] >> how I assume that's very rewarding. [7:35] >> I love I I love working with students on [7:37] writing even if it's I shouldn't say [7:39] even, but the college English class, [7:42] composition class is I I think that kind [7:44] of writing is creative also. So, I love [7:47] seeing ideas come to people and seeing [7:50] how they, you know, turn that idea into [7:53] something longer. Um, and then of course [7:55] the creative writing is fun to to um, [7:58] you know, just to see how students take [8:00] an idea again like and make it into a [8:02] poem or a story. [8:04] >> I'm I'm sure there are a lot of people [8:05] out there who, you know, as as we've [8:07] sort of spoken about already, who have [8:09] lived or are living through sort of [8:10] similar circumstances. What would your [8:13] advice be to them if they were [8:15] interested in, you know, recording their [8:17] own experiences, whether that's in a [8:19] book or a blog or [8:21] >> Yeah. [clears throat] Um, [8:24] I I say you just have to start writing. [8:26] I And I think writing writing at a time [8:29] of tragedy or a time of loss can be [8:32] really helpful to anybody even if [8:34] >> even if the writing is just for [8:37] yourself, you know, just for you to get [8:39] through it personally. But um I think it [8:43] I think you just have to keep going. And [8:45] I think I'm glad that you mentioned [8:46] blogs because it's really easy for [8:48] people to set up blogs now. And I I [8:50] think you know that would be a good way [8:52] to um you know to get a story out there. [8:55] Another thing that um comes up in the [8:58] book that was really the first part of [9:01] the writing for this was that I kept a [9:03] caring bridge site and I also know that [9:05] a lot of people do that [9:07] >> and even that kind of writing is is like [9:09] a processing of the grief and so I would [9:11] just encourage people anybody who's [9:13] going through any kind of [9:16] >> um physical loss to take advantage of [9:18] that. It's a it's a great organization [9:20] too. Caring bridge really supportive of [9:22] people. [9:23] >> No yeah absolutely. I've certainly [9:24] followed people's stories on Caring [9:26] Bridge and it's [9:28] >> you know it's informative for the people [9:30] who care about them. It's it's certainly [9:32] efficient but like it yeah it seems like [9:34] it's a great way for somebody to be able [9:35] to get things off their chest and to be [9:37] able to share with people what's going [9:39] on during an extremely difficult [9:42] >> time. Yeah. [9:43] >> How is Elias doing today? [9:45] >> Elias is doing great. [9:47] >> Good. [9:47] >> He's really um he has adjusted to going [9:52] through life without vision. Um it took [9:55] a while. Um but he lives a full life. He [9:59] works for the North Dakota State [10:00] Marching Band writing music [10:02] >> and working with the drum line. Um he's [10:04] married. They have a house in Fargo. Um [10:07] they have cats. He's wood he's a [10:09] woodworker. He builds um furniture and [10:12] things in his garage. So he really, [10:15] you know, is doing great and has [10:18] continued to have his upbeat personality [10:20] and sense of humor through all this, [10:21] which is pretty amazing. [10:22] >> Terrific. what what does he think of the [10:24] book? [10:25] >> Oh, um he is really glad that I [10:27] published it. [10:29] >> Um the joke notwithstanding that he told [10:30] me to write the book. Um so it's he's [10:33] really happy that it's in the world. It [10:34] is a little hard for him. [10:36] >> Sure. [10:36] >> When my daughter-in-law read the book to [10:39] him and they had to stop, you know, from [10:42] time to time because [10:43] >> some of it was actually the early [10:45] chapters stuff that he didn't really [10:47] know because he was not right. I mean, [10:49] he was sedated, drugged up for the first [10:52] several months. And so to read to hear [10:55] that and to hear what his parents were [10:57] going through was was [10:58] >> was challenging for him. [10:59] >> Yeah. I can't imagine. Well, I'm so glad [11:01] that he's doing so well. [11:03] >> Thank you. [11:04] >> I'm glad that you're doing well. If [11:06] people are interested, where can they [11:07] find out more about you and more about [11:08] the book? [11:09] >> Well, um um they I have a um website, [11:14] >> traceyou youngblum.net, easy to find. [11:17] Um, which has information about all my [11:18] books on it. [11:20] >> Um, though you can order the book from [11:22] Amazon or you can order it directly from [11:24] the publisher which is the University of [11:26] Massachusetts Press. [11:27] >> Yeah. [11:28] >> Terrific. What are you working on right [11:29] now? [11:30] >> Oh, well, I'm I'm trying to revise an an [11:34] older poetry manuscript that has never [11:36] really gone anywhere and um so far it's [11:39] not really going anywhere again, but I'm [11:41] still trying. [11:42] >> Sure. Well, we'll hope to see it. [11:43] >> Thank you, [11:44] >> Tracy. Thank you so much for joining me [11:45] today. [11:46] >> Thank you, Eric. [11:46] >> Have a great day. Thank you everybody [11:48] for watching. We'll be back next time [11:49] with another conversation. [11:51] [music] [12:01] [music]