[0:03] This home here we live, grew up on the lake, [0:05] and so I did a lot of fishing, a lot of hunting, [0:08] and then, you know, played hockey during high school. [0:12] Senior year, I led the team in penalty minutes as a goalie. [0:16] I love that picture. [0:17] Wasn't ever a thought or even, you know, in my mind of, [0:21] someday I'm gonna be addicted to fentanyl. [0:24] (somber music) [0:27] When I got into boxing, I took first in the state, [0:30] you know, three years in a row [0:32] and, you know, I started training at a pretty, [0:35] at a national level. [0:36] There was one night where we were doing some weird stuff [0:40] like grappling in the garage, and I had like twisted around [0:44] and landed upside down on my shoulder [0:46] on like the concrete. [0:47] Basically, I had separated the cartilage [0:50] and like the nerves, [0:52] you know, the nerves that connect your shoulder. [0:55] And so I got prescribed Vicodin. [0:57] There was, you know, that time where I was, [1:00] you know, I took a few extra [1:02] and I felt the first opiate high I ever had. [1:04] (somber music) [1:07] It feels like an emotional warm blanket. [1:10] Like you're being covered in just like a euphoria of like, [1:14] you know, it's like a dopamine flush. [1:17] It was like, "Oh, I found the answer." [1:19] You know, like I thought I figured it out. [1:21] Like this is, I've got this now. [1:23] Like as long as I have this, I'll feel fine. [1:26] Eventually, my doctor cut me off from those meds [1:29] and I had to find, you know, a new way to get a hug, [1:34] to feel happy again. [1:37] I would go to the streets to get the medication I needed. [1:41] And so I had full access [1:44] to the Oxycontins when they first came out, [1:47] and this is where my addiction escalated. [1:51] Do you remember the one night when I picked you up? [1:54] It was at the hospital, the U of M on the West Bank side. [1:57] That night. [1:58] Do you remember this night? [1:59] And I picked you up, you had been wandering the subways- [2:01] Yeah.all night long. [2:03] Yeah, I do.And you were in bad shape. [2:05] Yeah.Bad shape. [2:06] That was when I was out there living on the streets [2:10] and I had been up for days. [2:12] Yup.And I just, [2:14] yeah, I just wanted a place to sleep. [2:16] I just couldn't even find a place to sleep. [2:20] That's what I've really seen, [2:22] you know, how desperate he was. [2:24] Yeah. [2:25] I started learning how to snort Oxycontin. [2:29] And then pretty soon, [2:30] you know, that was my go-to was heroin. [2:33] And, you know, I was snorting heroin. [2:35] Eventually, I became so toxic that I was stealing, [2:39] you know, I was trying to make money however I could. [2:41] (somber music) [2:44] The worst day of my life, [2:46] I took my daughter out to a restaurant. [2:49] With me on my person, [2:51] I had drugs with me and I was actively using, [2:54] and I went into the bathroom and I overdosed, [2:59] and my own daughter had to witness that. [3:02] I woke up on my back surrounded by paramedics [3:05] and, you know, police, and my first thought was, [3:09] "Oh my God, what have I done? [3:12] What have I done?" [3:14] (somber music) [3:16] You know, it doesn't ever happen to you until it does. [3:24] I had to learn to look myself in the mirror [3:26] and say, "Look, you did this. [3:29] You put yourself here. [3:30] Now, you get yourself out." [3:34] Yeah, I went through Sober Living at Meraki [3:36] and went through outpatient treatment center. [3:40] And then I finished treatment [3:41] and started, you know, working again. [3:43] The important part is to not do it alone. [3:47] Having a good community is important [3:49] because when we have those days [3:52] where the load is just too heavy. [3:54] (gentle music) [3:56] Coming up on five years clean, [3:58] things are a lot different now. [4:00] Just the beginning of this year, [4:01] I kind of made a leap of faith [4:02] and started my own general contracting company. [4:04] I mean, I get to see my daughter, [4:06] you know, whenever she's not hanging out [4:07] with her teenage friends and stuff, [4:09] but I have a lot more to lose now [4:11] and a lot more to live for than I didn't before. [4:15] (gentle music)