[0:00] [Music] [0:21] My name is Wayne Byman. I joined the Air [0:24] Force because first of all, I didn't [0:26] want to get drafted. I liked airplanes [0:29] and I wanted to learn learn something. I [0:31] didn't know what that something was [0:32] because it was right after high school, [0:34] but I just wanted to see what I could [0:36] what what I could learn, spread my [0:38] wings. I was uh educated to be went to [0:42] tech school for missile guidance and [0:44] control and that was that was anything [0:46] any munitions that were uh launched from [0:49] an airplane not not dropped but launched [0:52] from an aircraft and uh we had in the [0:55] neighborhood of 13 to 15 different kinds [0:57] of missiles that we taught we learned [0:59] on. I was stationed in five different [1:02] countries in Southeast Asia. Korea, [1:06] uh, Thailand, Taiwan, Philippines, [1:09] and Okinawa. They did they put me in [1:12] electronics, something I really didn't [1:13] want to get into, but that's what they [1:15] put me in. And I'm glad they did in [1:17] retrospect. But it took a little bit a [1:20] little bit for me to get over my wanting [1:22] to be a diesel mechanic and learning [1:25] electronics. And uh once I finally got [1:28] broke through that, it it worked out [1:29] very well for me. We typically worked 12 [1:32] hours a day, 7 days a week. Our job was [1:34] to make sure that the weapon systems [1:36] were ready and that every aircraft left [1:39] on time. I found all that exciting and [1:42] those were the things that when I [1:44] reflect back at it, uh it was kind of an [1:47] exciting time. Uh I never felt I was in [1:49] danger. [1:50] >> It was a lot of work, but it was a lot [1:52] of fun, too. I mean it was enjoyable [1:54] >> because you worked as a team. [1:56] >> Well, there was two times I came back [1:58] when I came back from the PBLO crisis. [2:00] We were considered we had done something [2:02] real well. Uh we got presidential unit [2:06] citation for it. I've got a letter all [2:08] the way from President Johnson at the [2:10] time down to me. Got a whole pack of [2:12] letters and it's kind of fun to see [2:14] that. And we were we were received like [2:16] heroes. That was that that was good. [2:19] Right after that, I I got uh uh orders [2:23] for Southeast Asia for Taiwan, was there [2:26] for 15 months and came back in the early [2:29] 70s and it was totally the opposite. [2:32] Cold reception. Um people threw food at [2:35] us. Um even in my own community at home, [2:39] uh you didn't want to talk about it [2:41] because it was a I don't know the word [2:44] to use. I I know the military term I'd [2:46] use, but anyway, it was very cold. uh [2:49] people didn't want to talk about it. Uh [2:52] we lost the war. Uh you name it. Uh we [2:55] weren't accepted. Uh uh mo a lot of [2:58] veterans would not even say on their [3:00] applications that they had been in the [3:01] military because it was a detriment. [3:05] >> So I did not have that problem because I [3:07] went to school and uh so it didn't hurt [3:11] me at all. But uh by the time I got out [3:12] of school everything was pretty well [3:14] cooled down. part of the VVA which is [3:17] vet Vietnam Veterans of America. I'm a [3:19] life member but I realized that that [3:21] group wouldn't be on uh here for a long [3:24] time because once we pass away it's [3:26] going to be gone. So I also joined the [3:28] American Legion and um it's an ongoing [3:30] organization and uh reason I like the [3:32] American Legion is it has people uh [3:35] veterans from all wars, all conflicts [3:38] and we all have similar stories. It's [3:41] just that you it's just a different time [3:43] in history. But we're here to help each [3:45] other and I I think of the GI Bill that [3:48] that the American Legion helped initiate [3:52] and that's why I'm here today. I got a [3:54] college education through that. So I [3:56] look at stuff like that and I'm going I [3:58] want to be part of that organization to [3:59] help those that are coming behind me. [4:02] Two things is ask a question and listen, [4:06] listen and listen. Don't try any [4:09] antidotes. You know, I did the same [4:11] thing in civilian life. I you don't have [4:14] any idea because [4:17] as a veteran especially for me I was I [4:20] was in some pretty [4:23] different situations and there's nothing [4:25] in civilian life that that that that [4:27] comes close but I would say listen and [4:30] ask leading questions and you when the [4:33] person doesn't want to say anything [4:35] realize that they may have not thought [4:38] about it before or may not be able to [4:41] talk about [4:43] [Music] [4:57] My name is John Michael Lane. [5:02] I normally just use the middle initial. [5:06] >> I served in the United States Army. I [5:09] was a uh clerk typist. I think that was [5:13] uh I've got it here someplace. [5:17] I don't have the official designation. I [5:20] don't remember what it was, but I [5:21] attained the rank of specialist E4. [5:26] >> I wanted E5, but they didn't have a slot [5:28] for me where I was at. [5:31] So the dates of service I served from 19 [5:35] January 1966 [5:37] to 18 January 1968. [5:40] The government did that for me and I was [5:43] of the mind that as long as they wanted [5:46] me. I volunteered to allow them to draft [5:50] me. I was not going to volunteer [5:53] actively. [5:55] But I didn't run away to Canada either. [5:58] They assigned that MOS to me because on [6:02] my resume to join the service, I told [6:06] them that I had taken two years of [6:08] typing in high school. So, they got a a [6:12] free gift. They didn't have to train me [6:14] to do anything. The the downside of that [6:18] is they assigned me to an acting [6:21] inspector general slash civil affairs [6:24] officer who was hardly ever in the [6:27] office. He was shorttimer getting ready [6:31] to exit the service. [6:34] I spent two years active duty not once [6:37] putting a piece of paper in the [6:38] typewriter to actually type anything [6:42] official. I did put paper in the [6:44] typewriter to practice my typing skills [6:48] because I got bored sitting in the [6:50] office all by myself. [6:53] To be honest with you, I wanted to be in [6:55] the motorpool. I wanted to learn a [6:57] trade. But in all honesty, I have to [7:00] confess I never asked to be transferred [7:03] cuz I had it had it made where I was at. [7:06] And actually, the MIA Hunters is my [7:10] greatest claim to fame. much more so [7:13] than what I did in the military. Well, [7:16] the MIA Hunters is a group that was [7:19] founded by a man named Brian Moon, [7:22] former vice president of advertising for [7:25] Northwest Airlines. After he retired, he [7:29] he always was passionate about war. He [7:32] was actually uh [7:35] born in in New Britain or Great Britain. [7:39] And he remembered as a child being uh [7:43] living in a bombed out house in Europe [7:48] and and [7:50] had very vivid memories of the shellings [7:53] and the and the effects of World War II. [7:56] and he took it upon himself to come up [7:59] with trying to help families obtain [8:03] closure by he traveled all over the [8:06] world trying to find evidence of a lost [8:11] or missing uh military personnel. Uh he [8:16] did that largely all by himself for the [8:19] first 19 years. I met him in 2009. [8:24] Uh, a friend of mine and I, it was a [8:26] nice warm summer day and we rode our [8:30] motorcycles down to Redwing for an [8:32] antique military airplane touchandgo and [8:36] old military vehicles and things like [8:39] that. We were just curious. Well, it was [8:41] such a hot day that we as we were [8:44] walking around, we got overheated and [8:46] we're looking for a place to get water [8:48] and we passed a hanger and the doors [8:51] were wide open and there was this fella [8:54] sitting in a a wheelchair giving a talk [8:57] about his experiences of all of his [9:00] travels finding these lost airmen [9:05] or any branch of service really if they [9:08] were still missing in action. So he [9:11] would do the research and he would visit [9:13] the other countries and interview people [9:16] and he would hire guides to search out [9:20] locations so that when he got in country [9:23] wherever the country happened to be uh [9:26] then it would be an efficient use of his [9:29] time to go visit the site and verify [9:32] that that person was there at that site. [9:37] and he was never on a recovery mission, [9:39] but just listening to him talk and his [9:42] passion and sharing his stories from his [9:46] experiences. Now, at the time I met him, [9:49] he was recovering from a heart attack [9:52] and and so he was talking about trying [9:54] to promote this next mission and he and [9:57] he had this little uh soldier teddy bear [10:02] kind of thing that traveled the world [10:05] with him. was on every mission that he [10:09] ever went on and it and it used to play [10:11] a little song. It was one of the League [10:14] Greenwoods songs. Uh right now the [10:17] batteries are done and there's no switch [10:19] to turn it on. But uh I inherited it [10:23] after after Brian Moon died in 2015. [10:28] They thought I was the most logical [10:29] candidate because I'm such a sucker for [10:32] stuffed animals anyway. [10:35] So he was inviting people to join him on [10:39] this mission and he was very careful to [10:41] explain that we'd have to pay our all [10:43] our own expenses and you know get [10:46] vaccinations to go into this foreign [10:50] country and all of that. And so I went [10:54] home from that day and I kept thinking [10:57] about it. I I had joined the Minnesota [11:01] Patriot Guard in 2008 [11:03] and as part of those missions, uh [11:08] sometimes we would gather at airports [11:12] uh and uh hold a flag line when they [11:15] would bring the the soldiers that were [11:18] killed in action back from whatever [11:21] country they came from. [11:23] One of those missions was a month after [11:26] I had met Brian Moon. It was in June of [11:30] 2009, I believe. And Ketta Airlines was [11:35] bringing four bodies back from Iraq. [11:40] And uh they brought them into Holman [11:42] Field. Mhm. [11:44] >> And while we were waiting for the plane, [11:46] there was the accumulation of four [11:49] different families all gathered in the [11:51] the hangar and they were talking, [11:55] conversing with each other, sharing [11:57] their family stories with each other. [12:00] And the moment the jet landed, [12:04] there was dead silence in the hanger. [12:07] You could hear a pin drop. [12:11] And and so the plane taxied up close to [12:16] the hangar that we were at and we were [12:18] standing outside with our flag line set [12:21] up [12:22] and and uh as soon as the cargo door [12:27] opened on the plane, they moved the [12:30] first casket into view to offload it. [12:33] And it was draped with the American flag [12:36] and they offloaded it. And of the four [12:39] families, one of the fathers walked up [12:43] to the casket and checked the dog takes. [12:47] And the impact that that had on me was I [12:50] understood that at that moment, that was [12:54] the moment of truth for that father. [12:57] That's that was when his son's death [13:01] became real to him. [13:04] and and that convinced me that I had to [13:10] do something. [13:12] And MIA Hunters was the path I chose [13:17] to do whatever minimal thing I could do [13:20] to try to help another family [13:24] come to closure. [13:26] And closure after so many years after [13:29] their loved one went missing, I just had [13:32] to be there. So, I did whatever I could [13:35] do to uh scrape up the money. I I [13:40] appealed to friends and relatives and uh [13:44] to help me pay my way to get over there. [13:47] The expenses were like $8,500 [13:50] for each volunteer plus airfare. The [13:54] airfare was another $3,000. [13:56] And on top of that, I had to buy a lot [13:59] of equipment that I didn't have to get [14:02] ready for this trip. That that doesn't [14:04] matter. You know that what matters is I [14:07] did the best I could to make sure that I [14:11] had the ability to go. [14:12] >> Can you tell us how many of these trips [14:14] you made [14:16] >> uh in Papa New Guinea or uh [14:20] >> just in general with MIA hunters? Uh I [14:22] only made one trip because that was the [14:25] final trip. Uh after that trip uh Brian [14:30] tried to turn over control of the [14:31] organization to his son and his son took [14:35] it in a totally different direction. [14:37] Tried to get a lot of corporate [14:39] sponsors, things like that. And uh it it [14:43] just never really materialized. So right [14:46] before the this trip, Brian took back [14:49] control and and of course Brian was with [14:54] both segments of the trip. I I think I [14:57] said of all the volunteers, they split [14:59] us into four different groups. Two of [15:02] those groups left on the 2nd of May from [15:05] the Twin Cities and they returned on the [15:09] 15th of May. the group, the segment I [15:13] was on was the last half. We left on May [15:16] 14th and returned on May 27th. So, you [15:20] know, those are my uh the greatest [15:23] impressions and I've am so I feel [15:27] blessed and privileged that I had the [15:30] opportunity to do that partially to make [15:33] up for the fact that in the military [15:35] service I really did nothing. [15:38] [Music] [15:52] Um, hello. I am Jill Stevenson. I am the [15:55] mother of Corporal Benjamin Cop, who was [15:58] an Army Ranger. He served with the Third [16:00] Ranger Battalion at Fort Benning, [16:03] Georgia from 2006 until 2009. [16:08] Yes, Ben was influenced by his [16:11] greatgrandfather, my grandfather, who [16:14] served in World War II. He was from [16:18] Minnesota as well, and he served with [16:20] the 34th Infantry Division, Red Bulls, [16:23] and also um because of the events of [16:27] 9/11. Ben was 13 when 9/11 happened, and [16:32] he wanted to avenge the innocent lives [16:35] that were lost on 911. I knew from the [16:39] time that Ben was a a young boy that he [16:42] was going to join the military and I [16:44] knew it would be the army as well [16:46] because of my grandfather's service. Ben [16:49] was my only child who I raised as a [16:52] single mother and so my [16:54] great-grandfather was the strongest male [16:56] role model that Ben had. Ben idolized [17:00] him. We spent a lot of time together [17:02] with him and as soon as he learned that [17:05] he served in the military, he started [17:07] saying that when he grew up, he wanted [17:09] to join the army just like great [17:11] grandpa. And he kept up with that um [17:14] until my great until my grandfather [17:17] passed away. So from the time when Ben [17:20] was about seven, I had a pretty good [17:22] idea that he would be joining the [17:24] military. And then after 911 happened, [17:28] he made a statement [17:31] as he was watching all the events unfold [17:33] on television that when he was old [17:36] enough, he was going to become an army [17:38] ranger, find Osama bin Laden, and make [17:41] him pay. So everybody that knew Ben from [17:44] that day forward, including myself, knew [17:47] that he was the guy that was going to go [17:50] into the army right after he graduated. [17:53] Ben was an Army Ranger, so they don't [17:55] have a job like you do in the big army, [17:58] we'll say. Like he wasn't a a machine [18:02] repair guy or engine repair guy. I [18:05] honestly don't I don't think that [18:06] Rangers have what the military calls an [18:09] MOS, which I don't even know what that [18:11] stands for, but I know that it's the [18:13] job, but Ben was a gun team leader and [18:17] he was a rifleman [18:19] um as a ranger. That was his job. Ben [18:22] did do three deployments. As an Army [18:25] Ranger, they deployed different than [18:28] I'll say the big army. And when I say [18:29] big army, I mean, you know, any other [18:31] branch really, but uh as a ranger, he's [18:35] special operations as well. And [18:38] generally, one year of service is equal [18:41] to one deployment. So by the time Ben [18:43] was in his third year of service, he was [18:45] on his way to his third deployment [18:48] because they were going, the first two [18:50] deployments were to Iraq and the third [18:52] one was Afghanistan. [18:54] And the one to Afghanistan he knew and [18:58] they were warned was going to be the [19:01] worst one that he had seen. And for the [19:03] guys that were like on his team and kind [19:05] of in that same, you know, two to the [19:08] third one going on that third [19:10] deployment. So he was he was nervous [19:13] about it, which made me nervous. But [19:16] through each of those deployments and [19:18] even from when he first left for the [19:21] military, [19:23] I turned to my faith because I knew that [19:26] I could very easily go down the rabbit [19:29] hole of fear and anxiety and and and [19:33] just being terrified. And I I had to do [19:36] I did that right away when Ben first [19:39] joined the military. And as I said, with [19:41] each deployment, my faith just grew [19:43] deeper. Ben was shot by a sniper during [19:48] a firefight with the Taliban. [19:53] He was called forward as a gun team [19:55] leader to help save get to safety [20:01] a team of snipers and three other guys [20:04] that were pinned down by a Taliban [20:06] sniper. [20:08] In the first place, it was the three [20:10] snipers. [20:13] They they couldn't get to safety because [20:16] they were being shot at so continuously. [20:20] One of the rangers that was pinned down, [20:23] one of the snipers said that he felt so [20:26] close to death that he almost pulled a [20:28] pin on a grenade because he would rather [20:32] have died at his own hand than at the [20:34] hand of the enemy. [20:36] So the chain of command for some reason [20:39] denied backup for them. So that's why [20:42] Ben came forward as a gun team leader to [20:44] save those those guys. So uh in that [20:48] process he took a bullet to the leg. [20:52] He was shot in the leg um in the in the [20:55] back of the knee. Uh the poplatil artery [20:58] is what it was where he was shot which [21:01] is secondary to the femoral artery. [21:04] There are some stories out there very [21:06] early on where people said that Ben was [21:08] shot in the femoral artery and bled out. [21:11] That's absolutely not true. Rangers are [21:14] medics. Rangers are all trained first [21:16] responders. So, you're literally [21:18] surrounded by medics, paramedics. When [21:21] you're out with rangers, they [21:23] immediately put two tourniquets on Ben's [21:26] leg so they stop the bleeding. [21:29] They had to carry him about an hour back [21:32] to where their Ford operating base was. [21:35] Once they got there, then Ben was put in [21:38] a helicopter and transported to the [21:41] nearest hospital. [21:43] Unfortunately, at that time in July of [21:46] 2009, [21:48] there was a lot of casualties, a lot of [21:50] injuries, and the hospital that was the [21:53] main hospital was overloaded. It was [21:57] full. And so they had to take Ben to a [21:59] secondary hospital that they had set up. [22:02] And I have a picture in my mind of [22:04] something like a MASH hospital. Maybe [22:07] that's aging me some, but um we'll just [22:09] say it was a military hospital set up um [22:12] rather quickly to just make room to [22:15] treat uh the injured that were coming [22:17] in. So Ben went into that hospital. He [22:21] underwent surgery to remove the bullet [22:24] and repair his leg. And that all went [22:26] fine. That all went fine until he was in [22:29] recovery. And while he was in recovery, [22:32] before they had turned down the [22:34] anesthesia to wake him up, he had a [22:36] cardiac arrest. [22:39] He had the cardiac arrest. There was a [22:42] ranger sitting there with him because [22:44] rangers never leave a fallen comrade, [22:45] including into the hospital. They follow [22:47] him there and they and they stay there [22:49] with him. As soon as that alarm went off [22:52] that he was having the cardiac arrest, [22:54] that ranger jumped on his chest and [22:57] started doing chest compressions until [22:59] the nurses came in. And then when the [23:02] nursing staff came in, someone reached [23:05] for a defiill and discovered that it had [23:08] no batteries in it. So the Ranger medic [23:13] kept up with the chest compressions. And [23:17] then they discovered that [23:19] the oxygen tank that Ben was breathing [23:23] from had a service alarm going off on [23:25] it, which meant that it needed to be [23:28] filled, which meant that he was [23:30] breathing the only the equivalent of [23:33] room air, which you and I are breathing [23:36] right now. And that's fine for you and [23:39] I, but it's not enough for a critical [23:41] patient. [23:43] Because of that they had ended up doing [23:45] a thorottomy which is when you make an [23:47] incision into the rib cage and you reach [23:50] up and massage the heart through the rib [23:52] cage. That is how they got Ben breathing [23:55] again. That is how they revived him and [23:58] stabilized him that way from the ranger [24:00] doing the continuous compressions and [24:02] then the thoracictomy. [24:05] So Ben stayed in in uh recovery for a a [24:08] while longer and then when they went to [24:11] turn down the anesthesia to wake him up, [24:14] he didn't respond. And at that point um [24:18] his brain started to swell [24:21] and he was having um issues because of [24:25] that. [24:26] He again this was in Afghanistan. They [24:29] then transported him to [24:33] Germany to Lulu Army Medical Center [24:36] there where he spent about 24 hours and [24:39] they felt that he they could keep him [24:42] stable enough by putting him in a [24:44] medically induced coma to get him back [24:47] to Walter Reed. Whenever a a soldier, a [24:52] military person is injured overseas, the [24:55] United States military wants them to get [24:57] to two places. either Brook Army Medical [25:00] Center in San Antonio or Walter Reed [25:03] Army Medical Center in Washington DC. [25:06] Ben went to Walter Reed. So 4 days after [25:10] he was shot, he landed at Walter Reed. [25:14] And at that point, they had informed me [25:18] that his brain pressures were under [25:21] control only because he was in a [25:24] medically induced coma. Those brain [25:26] pressures happened because his brain was [25:28] swelling due to the lack of oxygen. [25:32] So once he got to Walter Reed, the [25:35] doctors there reassessed his condition. [25:38] And the day after he arrived, my uh the [25:43] doctor sat my mother and I down and told [25:45] us they believe that he was brain dead. [25:48] And they believe that based on manual [25:50] testing by poking the palms of his hand, [25:54] the bottoms of his feet, and shining a [25:57] light into his pupils and getting no [25:59] response. [26:01] They also said that [26:03] there were legal parameters that [26:05] required them to do a very specific test [26:08] to determine that there was in fact no [26:11] blood flowing to his brain. And that [26:14] test would take several days to be able [26:16] to administer because it was a a very [26:19] cumbersome piece of equipment that [26:21] wasn't readily available. And Ben had to [26:24] be stable in order to do that test. So [26:27] that bought me time at the hospital with [26:30] him. He was never conscious the whole [26:33] time that I was in the hospital with [26:34] him, but I got to see him and feel him [26:37] and talk to him, and I believe he he [26:40] heard me. But it wasn't until 4 days [26:44] after he arrived at the hospital that he [26:46] was legally declared brain dead, which [26:50] was eight days after he was shot. So [26:53] that is when death came. And so upon his [26:56] death, his major organs, bone, skin, and [27:00] tissue were donated to save and enhance [27:03] the lives of people he would never meet. [27:06] that included four people's uh four [27:10] people who received his heart, kidneys [27:12] and liver. So he d he directly saved [27:15] their lives and then he enhanced the [27:18] lives of 55 more people with a donation [27:22] of his bones, skin and tissue. Three of [27:25] those four people who received his major [27:27] organs are still living today, [27:30] including the woman who received his [27:31] heart, a gentleman that received his [27:33] liver, and a young man that received [27:35] Ben's kidney. I think it's important to [27:38] remember [27:40] why we have freedom in this country, [27:44] to know that freedom has always come at [27:48] a high cost. [27:50] And you'll find that cost buried in the [27:52] ground underneath a sea of white tablets [27:55] in our national cemeteries. [27:58] Freedom has never been free. Never been [28:01] free. [28:03] And [28:05] just remember that those men and women [28:08] that died were family members. They're [28:12] the sons and the daughters and the [28:14] sisters and the brothers and the [28:15] husbands and the wives of your neighbors [28:18] of your your church community of the the [28:24] families that are on your kids sports [28:27] teams. We're all in communities wherever [28:30] we live. [28:33] We've paid the ultimate price for [28:35] freedom. Our families have. [28:39] It's important to honor those families [28:41] by, as I mentioned, being worthy of it. [28:44] But to know that our freedoms have been [28:46] paid for. They've been bought and paid [28:48] for. So when you can go to church, [28:53] when you can watch a television show, [28:56] that's not censored. When you can speak [28:59] your mind freely in a college course, [29:01] that's not censored. When you can go to [29:05] a public place and protest something, [29:10] there are men and women who died for our [29:12] rights to do that. In other countries, [29:15] that's not so much the case. And just to [29:19] remember, to honor and remember the [29:21] sacrifices that have been made for us. [29:24] [Music] [29:38] All right. Valerie Kennedy. Uh, Joseph [29:41] Allen Kennedy. [29:45] >> I'm his mother. [29:48] >> He was in the US Army. Uh, I have all of [29:51] his division stuff that I'll give to you [29:52] later. Uh, and, uh, he was a specialist [29:56] at the time of his death. [29:59] Uh he was uh deployed out of Fort Knox, [30:02] Kentucky. His uh complete dates of [30:05] service, he entered the army on April [30:07] 9th of 2009. [30:10] And his date of death, he was killed in [30:12] action in Afghanistan, April 15th, 2011. [30:15] Um, actually out of high school, uh, [30:18] there was a Marine recruiter that I [30:20] think was really, uh, working the kids [30:22] over at the high school and he thought [30:24] about joining the Marines and his dad, [30:28] Jim, talked him out of it by just doing [30:31] the math with him and saying, "Oh, you [30:33] know, you've got a good job right now [30:34] and you join the military and you're [30:36] going to only get this much. It's about [30:38] a buck an hour. You know, I mean, is [30:40] that really what you want to do?" [30:42] And so Joe waited and uh didn't enlist [30:46] until he was 23 years old. So he was [30:48] kind of like an old man when he joined [30:51] the army. I think his main motivation [30:53] for joining uh stemmed back from his [30:56] childhood. He loved to help kids. He was [30:59] very he was kind of protective. He had [31:01] he's got a younger brother who is seven [31:03] years younger than himself and he was [31:06] very protective of his little brother. [31:08] He I like to say he's his mentor and his [31:10] tormentor all at one. But um between [31:15] kind of watching out for his little [31:16] brother, he thought about going into um [31:20] you know community service of some sort, [31:22] whether that's law enforcement or [31:24] firefighting or something. And then he [31:26] got bit again by the military. and uh he [31:30] decided to join the army after he had [31:33] watched a friend of his, a wrestling [31:35] buddy who was injured in Fallujah in [31:37] 2004. That's uh Lance Corporal Kyle [31:40] Anderson from Evergrove Heights. And he [31:44] watched Kyle fight for his life, you [31:47] know, for multiple years. And Joe just [31:51] had this strong sense of needing to do [31:54] something bigger than himself. And so he [31:57] talked to more friends of his, decided [31:59] he was going to join the army, and uh [32:02] went in with a special uh they called it [32:06] an 18 x-ray contract cuz he wanted to go [32:08] special forces. So go big or go home, I [32:12] guess. [32:13] >> How did you feel when he made his [32:15] decision? [32:16] >> Um you know, that's we were kind of [32:18] talking about that conversation earlier. [32:20] Um, I'll never forget the day he told me [32:23] that he's decided to join and he knew [32:27] full well what that entailed uh up to [32:29] and including his life and he was very [32:32] willing to do that. And of course I was [32:36] concerned right off the bat and then I [32:38] thought, okay, if he's going to go [32:39] special forces, that's at least more [32:41] training, more exact type of missions, [32:45] those kinds of things. So I felt a [32:47] little bit better about that. Um and and [32:51] then that changed uh for him, you know, [32:55] through various circumstances that [32:57] occurred. So uh he he still he knew what [33:01] he wanted to do and he was going to go [33:03] do it and go make a difference. [33:06] >> What can you tell us about the kind of [33:08] work he did in the military? [33:11] >> Uh well, first of all, it started out [33:13] with the whole special forces training [33:15] and he absolutely loved it. He went into [33:17] basic and he would write letters home [33:19] saying it was like summer camp with [33:21] guns. Mom, this is great. You know, I'll [33:23] do the gas chamber all over again. He [33:25] would do all of it all over again. He He [33:27] thought it was fun. He really did. He [33:29] enjoyed everything that he was getting [33:31] his hands on and experiencing. So, [33:34] jumping out of airplanes was like the [33:36] biggest adrenaline rush that he had [33:38] probably experienced in his life to that [33:40] day. and his friends all said that you [33:42] couldn't keep up to him at all on his [33:44] motorcycle after he had gone through [33:46] airborne school. So, um, so he loved all [33:50] of that and made it through SFAS, went [33:54] off to, you know, after he got done at [33:55] Fort Benning and, uh, with basic and [33:58] AIT, he went to Fort Bragg and made it [34:01] through the, uh, SFAS, which is the [34:03] special forces assessment and selection [34:06] course. And uh he was so proud of [34:08] himself that he had made it through [34:10] that. It was like 2 weeks in hell or 3 [34:13] weeks in hell, whatever it is. And they [34:16] uh he it was a group of guys that he'd [34:18] been in basic with. And uh they were [34:20] super excited that they had all made [34:24] this accomplishment and they were on [34:26] their road, right? They were gonna get [34:28] ready to go. So um so they got into [34:32] training and he wound up having an [34:33] off-base incident. and he got himself [34:35] suspended for a year. During that time, [34:37] he was assigned to Fort Knox. And when [34:39] he got to Fort Knox, he uh was, you [34:42] know, meshing with his group because [34:43] they were already in their pre-eployment [34:45] training cycle. And, you know, they all [34:48] looked at him like, "Oh, who is this old [34:50] guy and he's bald already?" And, you [34:53] know, the whole thing, but they started [34:54] doing PT with him and he was kicking [34:56] their ass. So he he he learned and he [35:00] got their respect uh very quickly and um [35:06] and then he just did whatever was asked [35:09] of him to do. And then over and above [35:11] that he loved to tinker with things. So [35:14] uh his first sergeant was real [35:16] particular about his truck. Uh and Joe [35:18] would get in there and he had already [35:20] worked on the river, knew how to tie a [35:22] bunch of lines and all that sort of [35:23] thing. So he got in there and organized [35:25] this truck with all kinds of things that [35:27] he spliced together for tie downs and [35:30] the rest of it and you know it just he [35:32] loved to keep himself busy with little [35:34] things like that all the time. So didn't [35:37] matter what it was he was staying busy. [35:40] Uh just you know he truly did love his [35:43] country and wanted to be something [35:45] bigger than himself. He um he felt like [35:50] when they were in Afghanistan when he [35:52] initially landed I I remember one of the [35:55] first calls home he says uh you know [35:57] these people are savages and I'm like [35:59] well honey you got to remember you know [36:00] they don't have civilization like we do [36:02] here in the United States and he's like [36:04] yeah I know I know however later on uh [36:07] in another phone call he really had [36:09] gained a respect for the Afghan people [36:13] and all of the turmoil that they have [36:15] lived and survived and you know are [36:19] still are still living you know with but [36:23] he he just gained an appreciation for [36:25] the bravery of the Afghan national [36:28] soldiers and and the Afghan people. So I [36:31] think that was a huge turning point for [36:33] him in his life and um yeah it would [36:37] have been really interesting to see how [36:39] he would have come home and carried that [36:41] forward into his life. [36:44] Was he deployed multiple times? [36:47] >> No, he was deployed once. So, this was [36:49] his first deployment. He landed in [36:51] Afghanistan in January of 2011 and then [36:54] he was killed in April. Uh, a gold star [36:56] family is a family who has lost a [37:00] service member in active duty to our [37:03] country. So, it could be either a KIA, [37:06] it could be an accident, could be [37:08] illness or you know other means of of [37:12] death. as long as they are in active [37:14] service to the country. So the immediate [37:16] families, parents, [37:18] siblings, [37:20] um are all considered gold star family [37:22] members. [37:23] [Music] [37:38] And so I would probably like to be Sandy [37:41] with Mastersonson in PNS and then Lynch. [37:44] L Y N C H. So it's SA N D Y M A S T E R [37:50] S O N L Y N C. So I served in the um [37:55] Army Reserves. I was a part of the 523rd [37:59] ASA and when I left the service I was an [38:03] E4 [38:05] so specialist and service locations and [38:08] dates. Um [38:10] well okay so I was a reservist. I was [38:13] attached to the unit out here at Fort [38:15] Snelling. I did my you know basic and [38:18] then I had two AITS. So I was active [38:21] duty for training for 14 months and then [38:24] I was active reserve for the balance of [38:28] three years and inactive reserve for [38:29] three years from 82 through 88. Um [38:33] Connor Gerard Mastersonson [38:37] um he was a corporal when he died. Um he [38:43] was in the US Army. He was a combat [38:45] medic and he died while serving under [38:49] Operation Enduring Freedom in [38:51] Afghanistan [38:52] and that would have been April 8th of [38:55] 2007. [38:56] Uh he enlisted February 25th of 2005. [39:02] Um Connor was fifth generation military [39:05] on his dad's side and then I was also in [39:08] the military. So I think this was um in [39:11] keeping with some family history. [39:14] Additionally, he had graduated from high [39:16] school. He went to one semester of [39:19] college and just really didn't know why [39:22] he was there or what he was doing. He [39:24] just wasn't ready. And um Connor for [39:28] much of his life growing up was not what [39:32] I would have called in the mainstream. [39:34] He was sick a lot and it took until he [39:37] was a teenager to figure out that he was [39:40] simply very allergic to molds indoor and [39:43] outdoor. It just kept him out of school. [39:45] It kept him out of sports. It it just [39:47] really affected his life. And he was [39:50] healthy at this time and wanted to be a [39:53] part of something bigger than himself. [39:55] He just was really looking for I think [39:58] that belonging and a way to give. and he [40:01] enlisted as a medic, which really fit [40:04] with his personality because while he [40:07] was often the one that was sick when he [40:10] was younger, a part of his personality [40:12] was always to be reaching out and to be [40:14] helping others and this just all came [40:16] together and worked for him. Um, we were [40:20] at war at the time and I was very [40:23] nervous. Uh, for some reason I just had [40:27] this feeling that if he enlisted that he [40:30] was not going to come home to us again [40:33] and I had this conversation with him and [40:36] I just I probably even asked him not to [40:40] enlist at that time because I just had [40:43] this feeling and he told me that it was [40:46] right for him. It was it was just the [40:50] right time and what he was supposed to [40:51] be doing and if he didn't come back to [40:54] us again that it was something that he [40:58] he understood and was [41:01] was willing to do. So it was hard for [41:04] me. It was difficult. I was proud for [41:06] him for wanting to serve, but it was [41:08] difficult for me to see him enlist at [41:10] this time. So, something that I'd like [41:13] to say about Connor being a combat medic [41:17] is that I believe that he achieved more [41:20] in his short 21 years of life than I [41:24] have in my entire life at the age I am [41:28] now. He He was a combat medic. He was in [41:32] the field. He was taking care of [41:35] injuries that no 21-year-old should [41:38] should have to face. and he did it. He [41:41] was proud to do it. And [41:45] um I just think it was a very difficult [41:47] job. [41:48] Proud of him for doing it. So one is [41:52] that um about 2 weeks before [41:59] uh before he died, he was able to help. [42:03] And I just have to put my thoughts [42:05] together on this. It's been a while [42:06] since I've thought about it. So just [42:09] about two weeks before Connor died, um [42:12] there was an uh Afghan soldier who [42:16] needed a tracheotomy and Connor was the [42:20] one to perform his tracheotomy. [42:23] And my understanding from another [42:26] soldier that was there was that he left [42:28] that tent saying, "I can go home [42:32] fulfilled now. I've done what I came [42:36] here to do." I think it was probably [42:39] pretty overwhelming for him to to have [42:42] done this and then to have seen this [42:44] person start to breathe again. And I [42:46] know he told me about this over the [42:48] phone. He didn't tell me that same that [42:51] same story, but um or the the same quote [42:55] that he could go home now, but um I [42:58] remember just hearing the emotion in his [43:01] voice that he did this. And then he [43:05] started talking about when he came back, [43:08] you know, what he wanted to do and he [43:09] wanted to go back to school and uh uh [43:14] continue his education in the medical [43:16] field. So I think that one is a memory [43:20] that always comes to mind. Okay. So the [43:23] question was about how I learned and [43:25] immediate reaction. [43:28] >> Uh it was Easter morning and it was [43:31] early in the day. I was actually just [43:34] getting ready to exercise and our [43:38] doorbell rang and I thought this is so [43:41] strange because the doorbell used to [43:44] ring when our kids were young uh but [43:46] they were all older and our youngest was [43:49] about to turn 18 so we weren't used to [43:51] the doorbell ringing anymore and it was [43:54] Easter so I thought this is very strange [43:57] and I was in the basement Mike was [43:59] upstairs and I could hear the footsteps [44:01] and pretty soon He came downstairs and [44:04] he said, "There are two [44:07] official looking military people here to [44:10] see you." [44:12] Well, Evan, my youngest son, was [44:15] interested in joining the military. And [44:17] we were in the midst of a lot of contact [44:21] because of that. And he just wasn't [44:24] thinking about what day it was. And he I [44:27] don't know what he was thinking. He just [44:28] was he didn't put two and two together [44:31] like somebody with military experience [44:33] might. And I knew I just knew. [44:39] So I [44:41] ran upstairs. I think I remember taking [44:44] the stairs two at a time. And yet I [44:47] never wanted to get there. But something [44:50] just carried me there. I don't really [44:54] remember their exact words, but [44:56] something about confirming that I was [44:59] the mother of [45:02] and I just stopped. My world just [45:05] stopped [45:07] and it was crushing. I the only way I've [45:11] been able to [45:13] explain it is that it felt like I had [45:17] just been turned inside out and that all [45:22] of my nerves were exposed. It was just [45:26] complete [45:28] total and consuming. [45:34] You you have a way you describe grief [45:37] the grief [45:39] >> journey [45:41] likening it to having a child. Would can [45:44] you tell that story? [45:45] >> I can. So I know that I process in my [45:50] sleep [45:51] >> and I had a dream one night and I don't [45:54] need to explain the dream because the [45:56] details of that probably aren't [45:58] important. It had to do with being at [46:00] work and in a meeting and moving between [46:02] different groups. But when I woke up, I [46:06] knew immediately what this dream was [46:08] trying to tell me. And it really is that [46:13] um when a parent loses a child, [46:16] it it's like you have this newborn again [46:22] and you have to raise it. So you have to [46:24] raise grief like you raise a child. And [46:29] if you do a good job of this, if you're [46:34] attentive to it while they're very young [46:38] and you attend to it throughout its [46:41] life, it raises to become this healthy [46:46] adult. [46:48] If you don't, it is going to come back [46:51] and you're going to be raising it later [46:53] as an adult. So, [46:56] I saw this as an infant that I had that [47:01] I had to carry. I couldn't put it down. [47:04] I couldn't give it away. It was mine and [47:07] I had to take care of it. And then one [47:10] day, it sat on my hip. It was a child [47:13] that you could carry on your hip and was [47:17] fairly well behaved, but it was with me [47:21] all the time. And some people would [47:23] notice my grief and other people [47:25] wouldn't. But it was with me. And I [47:29] knew, and this is the point I was at [47:31] when I had this dream. It was about 15 [47:34] months in on my journey. And I knew at [47:38] this point in time that I just had to [47:41] keep caring for my grief. And that one [47:44] day it would walk beside me. and that [47:47] one day it would be like your adult [47:49] child that would go away for periods of [47:52] time but then come back and visit. And [47:55] that's exactly how it's turned out. Um I [47:59] had a dream about 4 years in where my [48:03] other son and I were with Connor. Oops. [48:06] were with Connor and we were [48:10] um shopping for a chair and the chair [48:14] was for Connor and it was a crazy lazy [48:16] boy that he was buying that just fit [48:18] Connor's personality. And at the end of [48:21] this um Evan and I were leaving to go [48:25] back home and Connor was going someplace [48:28] else. And when I woke up, I knew it was [48:31] really time for me to let him sit down [48:34] for a while. [48:35] >> And that it was okay. And you know, now [48:40] fast forward all of these years later, [48:43] um, my grief still comes to visit me. [48:46] You know, it's still something will [48:48] happen and it can take me right back to [48:52] day one or to day, you know, 300, [48:56] whatever it is. it can take me back in [48:58] time and I have to process that grief [49:02] and then it will go away again. So I [49:05] very absolutely see for a parent anyway [49:09] I think every kind of grief is different [49:11] but for a parent when you lose a child [49:14] you have a new child to raise and its [49:16] name is grief. So I am one of six [49:20] children and most of us have children [49:23] and so a large extended family and our [49:27] family has always been close. Um so I [49:31] think the grief affected everybody and [49:34] everybody differently. When I look at [49:37] our immediate family, um there was me [49:42] and the blended family that I was [49:44] within, my ex-husband and the blended [49:48] family that he was in. So those were and [49:50] then Connor's wife, Lorena. [49:53] Um [49:55] and how has it affected us? Um [49:59] wow. [50:03] It's probably too difficult to say how [50:06] it affected each of us personally and I [50:09] don't think I would want to tell an [50:11] individual's personal story. But what I [50:15] would say is that we all had our vision [50:17] of the future. And that vision included [50:21] Connor and Lena and their future [50:24] children. [50:25] And with Connor's death, all of that [50:29] changed and we all had to rebuild our [50:34] vision. So, we had to deal with our [50:36] grief. We had to just breathe through [50:39] and live through that time. And [50:42] breathing is what I considered my job at [50:46] the time that Connor lived or Connor [50:48] died. I to live I had to just keep [50:51] breathing. And that was so hard. It was [50:54] the weight on my chest and remembering [50:57] to take those breaths that was so very [51:00] difficult. Um, [51:03] but you have to make it past all of that [51:05] or through that and then you have to [51:08] build a new future. And every one of us [51:10] had to do that. We still think of it [51:13] today. Every once in a while Evan and I [51:15] will look at each other and say things [51:18] like, "He would have been such a great [51:21] uncle." Um, Evan and his wife have three [51:25] children now and they don't get to have [51:29] Connor as their uncle and Connor didn't [51:32] get to have the joy of being their [51:33] uncle. You know, it's we'll remind [51:35] ourselves of things like this or we'll [51:38] be reminded of things like this. So, [51:41] we'll never stop thinking about him. I [51:45] think of Connor most every day [51:48] and [51:50] I don't know, I'll never stop. [51:54] It's probably the best I can do on that [51:55] one. So the first one that I'll mention [51:59] is that I am a 3M retiree [52:04] but well when Connor died I was working [52:07] at 3M and a group of us came together to [52:12] found 3M's military support network [52:16] and this group had such a huge impact on [52:21] me because I was having a difficult time [52:25] reintegrating ating back into work to [52:30] returning to being that productive [52:32] employee that I previously was. [52:36] It was um integrating all of this was [52:40] just really difficult. But having the [52:43] military support network [52:46] made all the difference in the world to [52:48] me. It helped me to grow. So instead of [52:51] just treading water, I was able to swim [52:53] again. and um to have to be able to [52:59] share my experience with other people [53:02] who cared and then to be able to pivot [53:05] that and reach out and help other people [53:10] who were serving or to help their [53:12] families to turn and make a positive [53:15] difference in somebody else's life [53:19] was really impactful on me and I think [53:22] in turn it was impact actful on the [53:26] people that we were able to reach out [53:28] to, that we were able to help, we were [53:30] able to make a difference in their [53:32] lives. So, we were all about making a [53:36] let's see if I can remember the phrase. [53:38] It was a positive. [53:40] Do you remember Tim the ex the exact [53:43] phrase? Tell me. [53:44] >> Make a difference one relationship at a [53:47] time. [53:47] >> Yes. But there was also another line [53:50] that had the word positive in in it. Oh, [53:52] I [53:53] >> and it's escaping me right now. [53:55] >> I can see it on the slide. [53:57] >> But I can too. I can too. It's just been [53:59] too long, I think. [54:01] >> But we our motto was to make a [54:04] difference one relationship at a time. [54:07] >> Yes. And so that was one. Another is [54:11] that another gold star mom and I, Gwen [54:14] Olsen. Um, and a gold star sister, [54:19] uh, Dawn and I'm forgetting Don's last [54:22] name. Don Meyer Meyers. Yeah. Yeah. Don. [54:26] It's Dawn, right? Yeah. For some reason, [54:28] that's sounding wrong. Um, so another [54:30] gold star mom and I, Gwen Olsen, and a [54:34] gold star sister, Don Meyers, [54:38] um, created an organization called [54:41] Scoops for Troops. And perhaps you've [54:44] already heard about this from Gwen, but [54:47] Scoops for Troops started out because [54:49] Gwen and I were uh, first of all going [54:53] through the first year of our journey [54:54] together. Our sons died six days apart. [54:58] They never knew each other. Um, they [55:00] served in different military [55:02] organizations. Daniel was in the Marine [55:04] Corps. Connor was in the Army. Um, but [55:08] Gwen and I connected because we met out [55:10] at the cemetery. Our boys are buried [55:13] next to each other just one row apart. [55:16] And uh, we would talk with each other [55:19] frequently because we got each other. We [55:22] were at that same point in that grief [55:25] cycle. and we could just look at each [55:27] other and know where the other one was. [55:31] Um, so as it approached the first [55:33] anniversary of our boy's deaths, [55:36] uh, I remember asking Gwen, "Have you [55:39] made any plans?" Like, "What are you [55:42] going to do to mark this day?" Because [55:44] her day was going to arrive 6 days [55:46] before mine. And she said, "I don't [55:49] know. I haven't thought about it." And [55:52] then she called me back just a couple [55:54] days later and said,"I have an idea." [55:58] And this idea blossomed into us holding [56:02] an ice cream social at the Ring Ring [56:04] Mountain Crearyy in Egan where um our [56:08] idea was that we would invite people to [56:13] say our children's names. I think this [56:16] was so hard. I think people felt like if [56:18] they just said Daniel or Connor that [56:21] we'd burst into tears and bring bad [56:23] memories to the surface. Well, the [56:25] reality was that all of that was at the [56:28] surface and we needed to be able to say [56:30] their names and talk about them and tell [56:32] stories and have other people remember [56:35] them. And so we were hosting this [56:40] gathering uh the three of us. It was D [56:43] she would go by that's why it was [56:45] sounding funny. D, Gwen, and I hosted [56:48] this gathering [56:50] um and we put up pictures of our boys [56:53] and and just invited people to come out. [56:57] Well, I think it was the Egan newspaper [56:59] learned about it and they came out and [57:01] did an interview and and wrote about it [57:04] and I think there was something in the [57:06] Pioneer Press even and a radio station [57:08] and suddenly this was getting a lot of [57:11] press and we were worried because we [57:14] were thinking, "Oh my gosh, what if more [57:17] people come than can fit in the parking [57:18] lot? What are we going to do? And are we [57:20] going to cause a traffic jam?" [57:23] And but the day could not have gone [57:26] better. At the beginning of it, we [57:29] suddenly had people giving us things for [57:31] a silent auction. So we quickly had to [57:33] put together a silent auction. And um we [57:37] had lines of people all day long coming [57:40] in to buy ice cream to make donations. [57:44] Fortunately, the owner of the ice cream [57:47] shop, who is a friend of Gwen's, um was [57:50] ahead of the game and she was ready. She [57:53] helped us to organize. She hadn't enough [57:55] ice cream ready, but throughout the day, [57:58] we raised $4,500. [58:01] We had no clue that we were even asking [58:04] for donations. We were just trying to do [58:06] something to give people permission to [58:10] talk about our boys. And so we needed to [58:14] pick an organization to give the money [58:15] to and we decided on tribute to the [58:18] troops because they are an organization [58:20] that had made a positive impact on our [58:23] lives and uh we felt their cause was [58:27] very worthy and helping wounded veterans [58:30] and having education funds for children [58:32] of Minnesota's fallen. So we put all of [58:35] this together. We made it through the [58:37] day. It was a, you know, I remember us [58:40] at the end of the day looking at each [58:41] other saying, "This is my first happy [58:46] day in that whole almost a year." And it [58:52] just happened to both of us at the same [58:55] time. It was an amazing moment. [58:58] And then the day was over and we [59:01] thought we were done until people [59:04] started asking us about next year's [59:06] event. and we went, "Oh, [59:10] I guess we're in for another year." [59:13] Well, we did this for quite a number of [59:15] years really up until when COVID hit. [59:18] So, from 2008 would have been our first [59:21] year until 2020 when COVID hit and [59:25] really made it impossible for us uh to [59:28] continue with that. But we ended up [59:30] developing this into a large event with [59:34] a 5K run, 3K walk, ice cream, other food [59:38] sales, um, silent auction, and we would [59:43] raise I'm having to remember now, but [59:46] $25,000 [59:48] in a year that we were able to put into [59:52] education funds for Children of [59:54] Minnesota's fallen. So for gold star [59:57] families, this became an annual event [59:59] that many would come to and it helped us [60:03] to be together. So it was healing for [60:05] us. For others, we would have veterans [60:09] from all different conflicts come [60:11] through the line and talk to us and tell [60:15] us stories. And sometimes I think they [60:18] were willing to share things that maybe [60:19] they didn't even share with their [60:21] families because they were in an [60:22] environment where it was safe and it was [60:26] it was healing for them. I think um I [60:30] think for for others it gave them a [60:32] cause a reason to come out and support [60:35] something military related which many [60:38] people were looking for. What's a venue [60:40] where I can go out and be a part of [60:42] this? And I think it provided that. Uh, [60:45] there are just so many stories. I think [60:47] Scoops for Troops gave back in so many [60:50] ways. I probably have to sit down and [60:52] and make a list of all of these and I [60:54] should do that sometime. But there were [60:57] so many other organizations. I'll try to [60:59] be more uh be quicker about some of it. [61:03] But um early on there was a grief group [61:06] that I joined that was I think actually [61:10] started by Veterans Affairs and that [61:13] there was a very small group of us as [61:15] moms that would come together and to be [61:18] able to talk with other moms and to [61:22] share our stories made a difference. Um, [61:26] oh gosh, there are other veterans [61:28] organizations that came out to support [61:30] us. General Mills had one and and just [61:33] so many. So, there are just a lot of [61:35] different groups that um I just I hate [61:40] to leave out any important one, but so [61:43] many um survivor outreach services. Oh [61:46] gosh, they would survivor outreach [61:49] services. I think one of the biggest [61:51] things that they did would was to [61:53] organize [61:54] weekend events in the fall where gold [61:57] star families could come out and [61:59] participate in um activities together. [62:04] Some of it was grief work, some of it [62:06] was just fun, but having all of the gold [62:09] star family members together or many of [62:12] us anyway. um another healing [62:14] opportunity and I think the last one [62:16] I'll mention is the um uh let me think [62:21] of the name of it Washington DC um [62:26] >> TAPS is TAPS tragedy assistance program [62:29] for survivors has played a large role in [62:32] my life um when we were holding Connor's [62:36] visitation the blueest star moms came [62:40] and gave us a book and the book had a [62:42] lot poems and writings and things in it. [62:45] Um, which I glanced at and then set to [62:48] the side after Connor's funeral. So, you [62:52] think about 10 days leading up to his [62:55] funeral and then having uh that over [62:59] with. Everybody else went back to their [63:02] normal lives and I went back to a void [63:08] to this emptiness in our household and [63:12] trying to even understand [63:15] how to step forward, how how to do [63:18] anything. And I was having a [63:21] particularly low moment and something [63:24] took me to that book and I was paging [63:28] through it and a lot of beautiful [63:29] writings and poems but I came to the [63:32] last page and it had the information for [63:36] taps on it along with their telephone [63:40] number. And I called them and said, "I [63:45] need to talk to another mom who has been [63:49] through this and is surviving. I need to [63:54] talk to someone." [63:56] And within an hour, I had a call. And so [64:02] I was given my taps mentor and she and [64:06] I, I think, spent about 3 hours on the [64:09] telephone. And later that evening, I [64:12] received a second call from someone [64:14] else. But it was this one call was a mom [64:17] who was 10 years in on her journey. She [64:20] told me some things I didn't want to [64:22] hear. Like it will never go away. I [64:25] mean, I wanted to know that someday [64:29] I was going to be through this. And she [64:31] just said, "No, you it you won't. It [64:34] will never go away, but it changes." and [64:39] she was living proof to me that I could [64:42] do this. She was [64:46] working. She could laugh. She had other [64:48] relationships. She She could do it. And [64:53] that gave me hope because I couldn't see [64:57] through this fog. I I just I couldn't [65:00] see any image where I could make it. And [65:03] when I hung up the phone, [65:06] while it wasn't relief, it didn't remove [65:09] the pain I was in, I knew I could do it. [65:12] And that was a turning moment for me. [65:16] And it took me a few years before I made [65:20] it out to one of the TAPS conferences, [65:22] but I went out to Washington DC a number [65:24] of times and joined the TAPS conference. [65:28] about 2,000 gold star family members [65:30] join and they hold this every Memorial [65:33] Day. They have a lot of grief counseling [65:36] work that happens there as well as a lot [65:39] of very [65:41] um emotionally [65:43] um charged moments like walking the mall [65:47] together as a group, all of us with our [65:49] red t-shirts on and standing proud [65:51] representing all of our boys and and [65:54] girls, you know, men and women who are [65:56] no longer with us. Um it just it was [66:01] another organization that made a big [66:03] difference in my life. Oh, the biggest [66:06] advice that I think I have for people is [66:09] to is that it's okay to not know what to [66:13] say. Sometimes a hug makes all the [66:17] difference in the world or saying our [66:21] child's names makes a huge difference. [66:25] if [66:28] if you know the loved one that has [66:30] passed away. Um to say their name, to [66:34] tell stories about them is the biggest [66:36] gift that you can give to a grieving [66:39] family member. Um and I'm I'm sorry is [66:45] is a fine phrase. What I think wasn't [66:48] helpful were the platitudes because to [66:52] me it didn't matter that Connor might be [66:55] in a better place. He wasn't with me and [66:58] it wasn't for me that wasn't helpful. [67:00] For somebody else maybe I shouldn't [67:02] speak for everyone. Maybe it would be. [67:04] But for me the platitudes didn't help. [67:08] But the genuine I'm sorry [67:11] um was probably the you know it's a fine [67:15] it is a fine thing to say. Um one of the [67:18] things that was really striking to me at [67:21] the beginning was that I felt like there [67:23] would be no more pages in Connor's photo [67:26] album. And the finality of that is just [67:32] a physical [67:34] um you know representation of the loss [67:38] that that life ends. [67:41] What I didn't understand though is that [67:44] other people had stories to share with [67:46] me that gave me new memories of him. And [67:51] so sharing those stories, every story is [67:55] a gift. Um, and then all of the events [67:59] that we've held or that we've [68:01] participated in with others [68:04] continue to build pages in that photo [68:06] album. So, I think others can help that [68:11] photo album to continue by being a part [68:14] of that. [68:15] [Music] [68:30] Okay, so this is Sandy Masterson Lynch [68:34] and we did an earlier interview as a [68:36] gold star parent and I served in the [68:39] Army Reserves um active duty 14 months [68:43] for training and then reserve status. [68:46] And I joined the army, I think likely [68:49] because my oldest brother, Jim, served [68:52] in the military. He was in the army from [68:55] 1964. [68:57] Uh, well, okay, I have to say that over [68:59] again because my oldest brother, Jim, [69:01] served our country in either regular [69:06] army, army reserves, [69:09] or national guard. I think he maybe was [69:11] even in one other one other branch. But [69:14] from n from from 1964 through 2009 [69:21] I believe it was and he's my oldest [69:24] brother 14 years older than me and I [69:26] think he was my role model growing up [69:28] and so it was army all the way because I [69:31] was a reservist I didn't feel like I was [69:35] leaving things behind perhaps quite like [69:37] others were I was attached to the 523rd [69:41] ASA at Fort Snelling at the time so I [69:43] knew I was going to be coming back home. [69:45] I was gone for 14 months though. So [69:48] during that time I certainly left my [69:50] family behind, my parents, my siblings. [69:53] Um yeah, I would say that's and my work. [69:57] I was on a leave of absence from 3M [69:59] while I went to training. I think my [70:03] most vivid time occurred during basic [70:07] training and it's I think I joined [70:11] because I was needing to break out of [70:14] the shell of the environment that I had [70:17] lived in. I had always looked at my [70:20] brother Jim and I always wanted to be a [70:22] part of what he was doing. And yet as I [70:27] was growing up, I had very low [70:29] self-esteem, low self-confidence. [70:32] And what I gained in basic training that [70:35] then I used and leveraged throughout the [70:37] rest of my training and my entire career [70:39] is that I gained a confidence. I [70:43] suddenly learned that I could do things [70:46] that I thought I was completely [70:48] incapable of. And I remember graduating [70:52] from basic training and having our drill [70:54] sergeants come through and shake our [70:56] hands one by one. And he looked at me [71:00] and said, "You understand you can do [71:04] anything you want, right?" And I just [71:08] beamed. So for me, it was that moment of [71:12] understanding that doors had just opened [71:15] for me. So my MOS was a 98 Golf German. [71:20] So that is a voice intercept operator [71:23] with German language. So I actually [71:25] spent 32 weeks, 5 days a week, six hours [71:28] a day learning German um at the Defense [71:31] Language Institute. And then I had three [71:35] months of radio training where um what [71:39] we what this job is responsible for is [71:43] listening to foreign voice transmission [71:46] and then actually writing down what you [71:48] were hearing to hand off to the [71:50] analysts. [71:52] Well, I think I gave one already which [71:54] was just [71:56] receiving this incredible feedback from [72:00] our drill sergeant. Um, now I have to [72:04] say that I was 22 when I went into the [72:06] military. So I was a little older than [72:09] most of the others that I was with in [72:11] our platoon. And I think this gave me [72:15] the opportunity to be a leader. Um, and [72:18] I didn't really even understand I had [72:20] that inside of me. So um, I had that [72:23] opportunity. I think that growth during [72:25] that time was one incredible experience. [72:29] So a lot of this for me is my personal [72:32] journey in gaining that confidence and [72:35] the military really gave that to me. [72:38] Another is that when I entered basic [72:42] training, so we'll go right back to [72:43] that. Um I could not do a single male [72:47] push-up [72:49] and I could run but not so well. But [72:52] when I graduated, I maxed our PT test [72:56] and I kept that with me through not only [73:00] the rest of my enlistment, but the rest [73:02] of my life. And while I can't push out [73:05] 40 great push-ups today, I still I know [73:09] that the military taught me all about um [73:13] discipline and structure and [73:19] um I just have used that throughout my [73:22] entire life. So I don't know that [73:23] there's much more than that, but it [73:25] really is a personal growth journey. [73:28] So, not only was I a veteran, but I [73:30] married someone in the service and we [73:33] moved to Germany on his enlistment. So, [73:36] I actually pulled some of my reserve [73:37] time with his unit, which would never [73:40] happen today, but this was definitely a [73:42] different time. Um, different time, [73:45] different place. and [73:48] uh moving [73:50] overseas and in this case I'll say being [73:52] a dependent wife was difficult because [73:56] there weren't [73:58] um I was used to being and I know I'm [74:00] going off script here of being a veteran [74:02] but being a dependent wife was the most [74:04] difficult thing I was used to being a [74:06] part of everything and suddenly being [74:08] the dependent wife was very difficult if [74:10] I think back to my own time the most [74:13] difficult [74:16] I I can't even think of anything because [74:18] for me it was enlightening. The whole [74:22] thing was just um growth, growth, [74:24] growth. My experience [74:28] was um outside of a time at which we're [74:32] at war. It was during peace. [74:35] And so I can't [74:38] I can't liken my experience to anybody [74:41] who served recently. I mean, anybody who [74:44] has served in any of our conflicts, I [74:48] take my hat off to. I have so much [74:52] respect for them, and I don't ever try [74:54] to pretend that my service is like their [74:57] service. [74:59] But what I saw happen for me is that it [75:03] changed the whole trajectory of my life. [75:07] And I ended up retiring having managed [75:11] several IT organizations that spanned [75:16] countries around the world. And never, [75:19] you know, when I was 22 and I enlisted, [75:23] never would I have thought I would have [75:25] been capable of doing that. And it is [75:28] absolutely the time that I spent my 14 [75:31] months active duty for training. It is [75:34] that time that was so transformative to [75:37] me and set me up to be successful later [75:41] in life. And so I think we talked to [75:43] this my life after the service. I went [75:46] back to school. I earned a college [75:48] degree and I applied that degree at work [75:50] and I had opportunities to do things I [75:53] never thought I was capable of. I was [75:56] able to travel around the world for [75:59] work. I managed teams. I I just I did [76:02] things that I never had envisioned for [76:05] myself. Yes. And it might sound like a [76:10] bit of a cliche, but for me the word is [76:13] freedom. And part of that is because [76:16] when you enlist, you give away some of [76:20] your freedoms. And that moment when you [76:24] realize that [76:26] your life is different and [76:30] um you have pride that comes with with [76:33] serving, but you you give up something [76:36] that that others take for granted [76:39] because I was pondering this question [76:41] thinking I'm not sure where I would tell [76:43] people to go. um other than seeking out [76:47] events that are military related and [76:49] being a part of those, but to really [76:52] make a difference, connecting with [76:54] Beyond the Yellow Ribbon organizations [76:56] and understanding how you could either [76:59] be a part of events or volunteer or make [77:03] a difference in someone's life. Um, you [77:06] know, for a veteran, I think this is an [77:08] excellent way to do it. [77:10] [Music] [77:24] So, I'm Robert Timothy McElroy and I go [77:28] by Tim uh as my middle name. Uh I served [77:32] in the United States Air Force active [77:34] duty from 1978 until 1998. [77:39] And when I left the Air Force, I was [77:42] assigned to the 20th Air Force, which [77:45] was based out of FE Warren Air Force [77:48] Base in Cheyenne, Wyoming. And I retired [77:51] as an E8. And in the Air Force, that is [77:55] a senior master sergeant. [77:58] My uh service locations, my primary [78:02] service locations were just at Ellsworth [78:05] Air Force Base in South Dakota. And then [78:08] we served over in the United Kingdom at [78:10] RAF Mildenhal. [78:13] And from there we transitioned to FE [78:15] Warren Air Force Base in Cheyenne. I had [78:18] many temporary duties, I guess you could [78:21] call them. Uh none of them were [78:23] deployments to any uh combat locations, [78:26] but I had a lot of different other uh [78:29] locations that I was at. So I entered [78:33] the United States Air Force. And it it's [78:36] interesting because I had a maternal uh [78:39] grandfather who served in World War I in [78:41] the Army. I had my own father who served [78:45] in the army in the 82nd Airborne. Uh so [78:48] he liked to jump out of planes. He had a [78:50] great story. You know, he he truly never [78:52] landed in an aircraft until he was [78:55] almost 50 years old, right? Um so, you [78:59] know, you'd think army's the direction [79:01] that I wanted to go to. I also had an [79:04] uncle who was my godfather who served in [79:06] the army. He was an Vietnam veteran. [79:09] But I um [79:12] I was working three jobs. I had um I was [79:17] married very young, had a child on the [79:19] way, and I worked at uh the Target store [79:23] in Roseville, Minnesota, which was T1, [79:25] the very first Target store um ever. and [79:29] I was a maintenance maintenance person [79:33] and lo and behold my supervisor who [79:36] oversaw the maintenance department just [79:39] got out of the United States Air Force [79:42] and so he he sort of became my recruiter [79:45] and um but that's in essence why I chose [79:49] the Air Force. He knew I wanted to [79:51] continue to go to school because I was [79:53] also going to school. And he actually [79:56] steered me into my Air Force specialty [79:59] code. That's what we call it. Uh so that [80:02] I would have more time to actually go to [80:05] school. So Kurt, I I owe him uh a lot uh [80:09] as far as why I chose the United States [80:12] Air Force. Uh I left behind um you know [80:15] my parents obviously and I had at the [80:18] time only five siblings. Uh mom and dad [80:22] decided to have a another child that [80:25] were 23 years apart. Um so I didn't know [80:28] him yet. [80:30] But uh I also left behind my wife uh a [80:32] pregnant wife and uh so I went off to [80:36] basic training down in Lackland Air [80:38] Force Base. I think what was really [80:41] important for me is the fact that [80:43] because I got to travel a lot to these [80:46] various duty locations, I got to [80:49] experience different areas, parts of the [80:51] world and also parts of um our own [80:55] country. So, I would say definitely I I [80:59] enjoyed them all. You know, there was [81:01] never one favorite and there was [81:03] definitely one that was never um not my [81:06] favorite. I would say the the most [81:09] difficult for me was probably leaving my [81:13] family, right? Leaving the kids. Um, [81:18] and and again, not that I was going off [81:20] to combat, but they were lengthy, you [81:25] know, temporary duties. One of the [81:28] things that the Air Force did for me is [81:30] it it showed me um that I'm capable, [81:34] right? I I didn't I just kind of muddled [81:37] through high school and and knew that I [81:39] had to go off to college or whatever. [81:41] But what the Air Force taught me was um [81:45] you could put some rigor behind your [81:47] life and it really helps, you know, to [81:50] create um your character, right? And so [81:55] it little, you know, did I know that it [81:59] was actually going to prepare me for my [82:01] career even after the military um with [82:05] working at 3M. But but the thing that I [82:08] was most proud of was the teams that I [82:10] was able to work with or even create. Uh [82:14] just some wonderful people be because [82:17] again I I mentioned earlier that you [82:19] know Tim didn't necessarily have an [82:21] aptitude for for maintaining aircraft. I [82:24] didn't have an aptitude for a lot of [82:26] things. But what I was able to do and [82:29] learn how to do because of the military [82:31] is create some really dynamic teams um [82:36] with some wonderful people who were [82:38] accomplished in certain aspects of what [82:41] we needed to do. Um yeah, it was really [82:45] important. Yeah, I would say the the [82:49] word that has changed [82:51] or has never changed or that I've [82:53] learned to appreciate more and more is [82:55] patriotism. [82:57] And just because that means so much to, [83:00] you know, many people, but [83:04] for me, it's just the true freedoms that [83:07] we get to experience every single day in [83:10] our country. [83:12] It's, [83:14] you know, people [83:16] you know, will do anything to try to get [83:19] into the United States of America, [83:21] right? And there's a reason for that. [83:24] It's because of the freedoms that we do [83:26] have and that we do get to cherish. And [83:30] there is not a day that goes by that I [83:33] don't thank the good Lord for um the [83:37] ability to live in this country. And why [83:40] was I I chose to, you know, be able to [83:44] serve [83:46] um do a full complement of service to [83:49] our country and and lead the life that I [83:52] do. So just patriotism. I would say one [83:56] of the things that we did with the 3M uh [83:59] military support network is there's a [84:03] long-standing tradition in the military [84:05] that specific units or organizations [84:09] would have and it was called what they [84:11] referred to as a challenge coin. [84:14] So, a challenge coin was something that [84:17] if it was given to you and and typically [84:19] it was awarded to you as a maybe a a [84:23] junior uh member in the service [84:26] organization by a commander or somebody [84:30] in command. and they would provide you [84:33] with this challenge coin as uh a a [84:37] significant because of a significant [84:40] um event that maybe you participated in [84:43] or uh just something that they wanted to [84:47] thank you with. So you would receive [84:48] this this challenge coin. [84:52] And so the idea though was it it it its [84:56] root was you would carry your challenge [84:59] coin whenever you went anywhere but [85:01] primarily when you went into either the [85:04] officers club or the NCO club or the [85:08] soldiers or airman's club or whatever it [85:09] might be and you had to present your [85:12] challenge coin. Um and if you didn't [85:16] have your challenge coin with you then [85:18] you would owe everybody within that area [85:20] a drink. Right? That's where it started. [85:23] So, um, [85:26] one of the things that we did at 3M is [85:30] we had a number of people who were [85:32] highly supportive of the military [85:35] support network. I'll I'll even say the [85:37] military support network couldn't even [85:40] be designated initially as an official [85:43] employee resource group. And you know [85:46] there was a lot of uh commentary about [85:49] well it's you know it's supporting war [85:52] or whatever the case may be. But once we [85:56] uh convinced people that it was much [85:58] more than you know supporting war um [86:03] people really welcomed the idea of of [86:05] the creation of it as a employee [86:07] resource group. So what we wanted to do [86:09] though is we wanted to offer a challenge [86:14] coin to those individuals. Maybe they [86:17] were new members who joined the support [86:19] network. It was somebody who supported [86:22] the network. But the important thing [86:25] about our challenge coin and what you do [86:29] is is the creation and the design of it. [86:32] Right? [86:34] So our our challenge coin um really [86:37] depicts uh first and foremost the [86:40] family, right? Because that's what we [86:42] were focusing on. So on on the coin [86:46] itself is, you know, some um [86:51] imagery. Thank you. Um of a military [86:55] family. But the other thing that we [86:57] wanted to do is show that we have a [87:01] company that supports that. So you also [87:04] see as part of that imagery an office [87:07] building, right? And I know we had um we [87:13] had three stars with a chevron and now I [87:15] can't remember exactly what that [87:17] depicted. [87:19] um if it if it was the service member, [87:22] the family, and those that support [87:26] uh something along those lines. [87:27] >> Yeah, we we actually had the duty, [87:30] honor, [87:32] uh what was the third word we put in [87:34] there? Courage, I think it was. And we [87:36] had So, it could represent multiple [87:38] things. The other one was the the [87:40] family, the service, the employment. [87:42] >> Yes. Yeah. And so it's always a a [87:45] poignant reminder of um you know the [87:49] ultimate sacrifice, right? And why we [87:51] existed as a support network um to help [87:55] those um who may have suffered that [87:57] loss. And we had a specific group uh a [88:00] bereavement group who um would honor [88:04] those who were killed in action and [88:07] recognize them. I know that u Sandy and [88:11] I attended um unfortunately um many [88:15] funerals um during that period of time, [88:18] but it was important, right? I mean, [88:20] people needed to understand that there [88:22] were pe others in your community who [88:25] you've never met before who really cared [88:28] and wanted to show uh their respect and [88:31] honor their loved one who was um killed [88:33] during their service. [88:35] [Music] [88:50] Amy Nordquist, [88:52] United States Air Force. My rank is [88:56] Lieutenant Colonel. Dates of service, [89:00] uh, February [89:04] 2000. [89:05] goodness [89:08] 2002 [89:10] to currently still serving. [89:14] So I entered the United States Air [89:18] Force. Um prior to joining the United [89:21] States Air Force, I did meet with a [89:24] recruiter from another branch and my [89:27] heart just wasn't settled um with that [89:31] branch. So, I was introduced to a great [89:33] recruiter through the Minnesota Air [89:35] National Guard. Um, he did take his time [89:38] with me. He answered all of my [89:41] questions. [89:42] Um, he said I was one of his most [89:44] challenging troops just because I had a [89:49] lot of questions for him. So, um, I [89:53] thought I was going to choose the [89:54] shortest job, which was 6 weeks of [89:58] schooling. and I ended up choosing one [90:00] of the longest um AFSC's for training. [90:06] So when I left for basic, what I left [90:09] behind um were my summer activities and [90:14] my family who I was very close to. I was [90:17] still living with my parents and my [90:20] brother. Um I was a water ski on the [90:23] Twin City River Rats. So when I got [90:25] basic training dates, um, of course that [90:28] ended up being over the summer. Um, so [90:31] it was hard to leave that behind, [90:35] especially my family too at that time. I [90:39] have a few great memories of basic [90:41] training. Um, one memory is right off [90:45] the bat before the training instructors [90:48] came to meet us, I met a friend, her [90:52] name is Becca, and we both had the same [90:55] watch. My concern with that watches is I [90:58] didn't know how to turn off the alarm on [91:00] that watch, and I didn't want to go to [91:02] basic training with the alarm on. So, [91:04] Becca at that time was able to turn the [91:07] alarm off on my watch and that was just [91:09] the beginning of a beautiful friendship. [91:12] Um, Becca is a believer. Um, we grew [91:16] super close during basic training. Um, [91:19] and even years after basic training, um, [91:23] there was a time I think we came down to [91:27] we didn't see each other for 14 years [91:30] and the Twin City River Rats ended up [91:32] going to Nationals in Indiana, which was [91:35] only 45 minutes from her home. And it [91:39] was so cool because these past 2 years, [91:42] she's been able to come to Nationals [91:44] with her family and we just pick up [91:46] where we left off. It's just a beautiful [91:48] friendship that was just meant from the [91:51] same watch. The friend that I was [91:53] talking about, Becca, um [91:57] she was great to guide me into [92:01] um my relationship [92:03] with my husband later on down the road. [92:06] So during basic training, I remember [92:09] getting the letters from home, um [92:11] getting letters from Andy specifically, [92:14] my husband now. Um, but the cool thing [92:17] that he did is he made me feel like I [92:19] was still at home taking part in the [92:21] river rat. So, he would send me programs [92:24] and pictures and I just felt like I was [92:26] still a part of what was going on at [92:28] home. Um, we were just friends then, but [92:31] I still remember the day he sent me I [92:33] opened my mail. I saw the program for [92:36] the River Rats and I just wanted to [92:38] shout and share it with everyone, which [92:41] it I kind of did. Um, it was a lot of [92:44] fun. So, um, it was just that those [92:48] special letters is what brought Andy and [92:51] I together. Um, and later on got married [92:55] down the road. When I joined, I was a [92:58] Aerovvac medical technician for about [93:02] eight or nine years. Um, and my job was [93:05] to provide care on your transport [93:09] aircrafts, your cargo planes, C17, [93:11] KC135. [93:14] um C130. [93:16] So we would provide care to our troops [93:18] that were injured and um our job was to [93:22] get them to further definitive care. [93:25] And currently my job is I'm a clinical [93:29] nurse with the medical group and I get [93:31] to oversee the in route patient staging [93:34] system. So we actually get to stage the [93:36] patients prior to them being flown to [93:38] further definitive care. [93:41] I would say the hardest part just it [93:46] makes me smile now is just going off to [93:49] basic and being um yelled at for [93:53] smiling, right? That's all a part of the [93:56] game, breaking you down and bringing you [93:59] back up. Um that was a hard adaptation. [94:02] Um when my family came to watch me [94:04] graduate, they had to tell me that it [94:06] was okay to smile. Um, other than that, [94:10] you know, I can't remember any specific [94:13] hurdles, but I always feel like the [94:16] resources, the people that are put into [94:18] your life, um, make it easier. And, you [94:22] know, early on I was taught, [94:25] um, we had to go through all of this [94:29] training. Um, we had, we found out that [94:31] it wasn't just the C130. we were now [94:34] going to be qualified worldwide on the [94:36] aircrafts out there to transport [94:37] patients. And I must have felt [94:40] overwhelmed at that time and I had an [94:42] incredible leader up front um Joel and [94:45] Eva that caught me in the crowd. I [94:50] rolled my eyes and she said um she goes, [94:55] "Yes, Amy, we are all in this together." [94:58] So, I truly believe no matter what the [95:00] hurdle is, you have people around you [95:03] that have been through it and you have [95:05] to know how to reach out, especially if [95:08] you're having difficulty to ask for [95:10] help. So, that's my hope that I can pass [95:14] that on to my troops. [95:16] I would say the biggest thing right now [95:19] for me to be able to continue to serve [95:21] is you have leaders that support that [95:24] family life balance. It's definitely [95:27] something if I don't have that balance [95:30] between civilian life, military life, [95:33] home life. Um it just makes it very [95:36] challenging at home. Um [95:39] the neat thing is is just seeing how the [95:42] kids do carry a lot of pride in the [95:45] military. They know that it's a Hercules [95:48] flying over and they get super excited [95:52] to go to the different events out at [95:54] base. Um, that's what I take pride in [95:57] now is watching the excitement in their [96:00] eyes as I serve. So, I would say the [96:03] biggest thing is is um, you know, not so [96:08] much having to support me um, it's more [96:12] so supporting my family. So, you know, [96:16] anytime that I have to leave, whether [96:18] it's a week, 2 weeks, a weekend, 6 [96:22] months, knowing that my family's taken [96:25] care of and people are pouring into my [96:27] family is the most important piece for [96:29] me at this stage of life. [96:32] [Music] [96:46] I joined the army enlisted in 1967. [96:51] Went through basic training at Fort [96:52] Campbell. [96:54] Uh [96:56] from there I [96:59] I um [97:01] went to OCS [97:04] and from OCS I went to flight school [97:08] and um [97:10] I served 26 years. I was a second [97:14] lieutenant in Vietnam [97:16] in 1969 [97:18] at Coochie. I was a Cobra gunship pilot. [97:22] So my job was to go to firefights every [97:25] day, gunfights, and um get shot at. Uh [97:28] so I was shot at probably 10,000 times. [97:32] Um every day come home with 20 to 30 [97:36] bullet holes in the aircraft and I was [97:39] shot down three times. [97:41] um one time shot down in Cambodia [97:46] uh during the invasion of Cambodia and [97:50] uh we were about 30 seconds from being [97:51] captured [97:53] when um the aircraft came in to pick us [97:56] up. So we were we were in gunfight and I [98:00] was my my co-pilot didn't have a rifle. [98:04] I brought my rifle with me that day and [98:07] so I'm in the tree line taking out NVA [98:10] coming for us and I think I killed about [98:13] 10 of them out of the 20 or so coming [98:16] towards us and then the rescue bird came [98:19] in and pulled us out of there like [98:22] within seconds of being captured. [98:24] Um, so [98:27] then I um I really liked flying. So I [98:30] went back to the States and I saw [98:33] what was on the TV and I called [98:35] Department of the Army. I says, "Get me [98:37] the hell out of America." So they sent [98:40] me to Germany. [98:42] So I went to Germany. I was flying in [98:44] Germany helicopters and I stayed for [98:48] three years. And uh then I went back [98:52] after that tour and my wife didn't want [98:56] to still didn't want to be married to a [98:58] Vietnam veteran. So I gave her a divorce [99:00] and I was single for a few years and [99:03] then I went home for a high school [99:04] reunion and ran into Barb who uh had [99:08] been we had been best friends in high [99:10] school and so we got together and [99:13] started dating. I was then based at [99:16] Washington DC at the Pentagon [99:19] and um so we got married and then [99:23] uh I asked for another assignment to [99:25] Germany. So I took Barb to Germany and [99:28] we had a tour in Germany together uh [99:31] flying. [99:32] Um and then [99:35] I was ready to come out of Germany and [99:37] they um [99:40] they had sent me to be an Apache [99:43] helicopter pilot. And so I went back to [99:47] Viet went back to Germany as an Apache [99:50] squadron commander. [99:53] And then we deployed to Desert Storm. [99:56] And um I had been a night operations guy [100:00] in Vietnam. And so the Apache is a night [100:03] fighter. And so I was natural at that. [100:06] So the uh core commander learned of me [100:10] and he had he had known my call sign [100:13] from Vietnam. [100:15] So he said, "You're my guy, Brandham. [100:17] You're going to lead the first attack [100:19] into Iraq and Desert Storm." And so I [100:21] said, "Oh, that sounds good." So I got [100:25] we're training up for Desert Storm. And [100:27] I go, "Okay, guys. We're going to be the [100:29] first attack into Iraq." And and the my [100:32] captains came to me and they said, "Sir, [100:34] um, nobody in the unit's ever been shot [100:37] at except for you." I said, "Okay, I'll [100:40] I'll lead every attack." So I was the [100:43] first aircraft. Um, so I led the attack [100:46] uh into Iraq and [100:49] uh we went up against 100 tanks on the [100:52] first attack [100:54] and in about 17 minutes we had 45 tanks [100:58] burning. So that was successful. Went [101:01] back during the daytime and we [101:04] encountered another 100 tanks and we did [101:07] the same thing with them in about the [101:09] same amount of time. So then um [101:14] I was ready to leave that assignment [101:16] because that war was over and I had been [101:18] in command for two years. So they said [101:20] um so Brandham you're going to go lead [101:24] the drug war in South America, Central [101:27] and South America. So I said, "Okay, [101:30] that's I hate drugs, so that sounds [101:32] good." So I went to um Cocoa Beach, [101:35] Florida, which is where we were based. [101:38] And I had um 50 helicopters in Peru, [101:42] Bolivia, Guatemala, and Bise. And uh we [101:46] would do night flights to take down drug [101:50] cartel aircraft. [101:52] And we would average three to four busts [101:55] a week. And an average bust taken down a [101:59] helicopter would be $20 million in [102:01] cocaine. and 50 to $100,000 in cash. [102:06] And so, um, we did I did that for two [102:09] and a half years. And the FBI after a [102:13] few months, the FBI called me and they [102:15] said, "Um, sir, I have to let you know [102:17] that there's a hit out on you. There's a [102:20] $10,000 hit on your on your head and a [102:23] $10,000 hit on your wife." I said, [102:26] "Well, [102:27] they know I'm a combat vet. you better [102:30] let them know. Not going to go quietly. [102:34] So, nobody ever tried to take us out. We [102:36] just continued to go rollerblading [102:38] during the day and I always had a a gun [102:41] in my belt under my shirt and we never [102:44] had any problems. So, nobody ever tried [102:46] to do anything. And then I finished that [102:49] tour and I um got asked to go back to [102:53] the Pentagon and do worldwide [102:55] inspections because I had become a [102:58] nuclear weapons expert when I was in in [103:01] Germany on a tour because when you're [103:03] there aviation wasn't a branch. So you [103:05] had to have a follow up another branch. [103:08] So I was a field artillery guy and my [103:10] field artillery units were always [103:13] nuclear capable units. So I was a [103:15] nuclear weapons expert. So they said, [103:18] "So, um, we need somebody to go lead the [103:22] nuclear weapons training school in [103:25] Germany, so we'd like you to go do [103:27] that." So, uh, my wife and I moved down [103:30] to Obergo, which is by Garmish in the [103:33] Alps. I did that for a couple years, and [103:36] then we went back to the Pentagon. Um, [103:39] and I did worldwide inspections of [103:41] nuclear capable units for another three [103:45] years. And then my wife said, um, [103:50] you know, our our my daughters, we had [103:52] both had 18-year-old daughters and her [103:54] daughter was going to graduate from high [103:55] school and she said, "I want to go home. [103:58] I want to be there for my daughter's [104:00] graduation." So, she said, "I'm going [104:02] home. I hope you go with me." And I [104:04] says, "I'm ready." So, we retired and [104:07] went back to came back to Minnesota and [104:11] uh have had a happy life here for the [104:13] past 25 years. and uh left all that [104:17] other stuff behind. My family, there [104:19] were seven kids in in the family. I had [104:21] a brother and five sisters. Um my dad [104:25] lost his leg in World War II a week [104:28] before he turned 18 years old. He was an [104:31] anti-aircraft gunner on a ship and the [104:35] Japanese aircraft were attacking his [104:36] ship and they shot his left leg off [104:38] above the knee. So he had a wooden leg [104:41] all his life, 75 pound wooden leg. Um [104:44] but he was he was a great mentor and um [104:50] encouraged me to go fly and join the [104:52] army and so yeah so none of my jobs were [104:56] easy as I as I've described. It was [104:59] always danger um [105:02] but my dad had prepared me for that as a [105:04] young boy. Uh, one thing my dad did that [105:08] um [105:10] he always wanted he taught my my brother [105:13] and I how to shoot a rifle when we were [105:16] teenagers. And then my dad would um [105:21] send us into the woods. He'd say, "Here, [105:23] here, take the 22 and go out in the [105:25] woods and don't come back until you have [105:28] something for dinner." So I'd go off in [105:30] the woods and till I found a bunny or [105:32] something, you know, to bring home for [105:33] dinner and he'd show me how to clean it. [105:36] And so he kind of that kind of a [105:38] mentorship. Um, and then he had me, he [105:42] never wanted me to be afraid of the [105:44] dark. So there was a woods outside our [105:47] area that was about oh a mile long. He [105:51] said, "I want you to go through the [105:52] woods tonight by yourself with no [105:54] flashlight. You can take a flashlight if [105:56] you run run into trouble, but don't use [106:00] it. Otherwise, you know the trail. So, [106:02] I'll meet you at the other side of the [106:03] woods, you know, in a half an hour or so [106:06] or hour, however long it takes you, and [106:08] I'll be there. And so, he sent me off [106:10] into into the woods. And he would do [106:13] that kind of thing with me all the time. [106:15] Always challenging me to be be outside [106:18] my comfort zone and and get self, you [106:21] know, [106:23] reliant and courageous. So it was very [106:27] difficult at first because of the [106:29] Vietnam stigma and I had a lot of [106:31] resentment towards people that did not [106:35] accept me. So, it took me a while to um [106:40] for a long time I didn't tell people. I [106:43] just said I was in the army. I didn't [106:44] tell them what I did or where I was and [106:47] that I was in Vietnam. I didn't didn't [106:49] even talk about Vietnam until years [106:52] later when um veteran organizations [106:57] learned of me and saw my career and [107:00] said, "We need you to come talk." And so [107:02] that's what got me talking then to [107:04] groups of people about my career. And so [107:08] and and it was always positive feedback. [107:11] So it turned my whole idea around. Okay, [107:14] these are my people and I can talk to [107:17] them about what I did and they're not [107:20] turned off by they don't reject me. And [107:23] so my primary friends are former [107:26] military or [107:28] uh I have some civilian friends, but if [107:32] they don't accept me, I okay, I I don't [107:34] need you as a friend either. [107:38] I truly treasure the camaraderie. Uh [107:42] there's nothing better than [107:45] military buddies, people that you've [107:47] been to war with. Um, [107:50] my Vietnam friends and I, we still get [107:52] together every couple years. And they're [107:55] some of my closest [107:57] friends that I love more than, you know, [108:01] as as much as I love my family. They're [108:03] just they're part of my family. So, I'm [108:06] a strong believer in being a member of [108:08] the VFW and Legion. And I belong to both [108:12] in Lakeville. And I would go to the [108:14] meetings and participate and um [108:18] and go a story was my dad because of the [108:22] loss of his leg uh and he was in a [108:26] wheelchair a good part of the time and [108:27] we were in a house and we needed a ramp [108:30] and a ramp was like $10,000 and [108:35] uh by the time he was in advanced age [108:37] where he needed a ramp and my brother [108:39] and I wanted to buy him pay for it and [108:42] he wouldn't let us. So, it spurred my [108:45] brother and I to um learn how to build [108:48] ramps. And so, it started out my brother [108:51] and I back in probably [108:56] 1980. We were we started a little group [109:00] and then I went to my VFW and I said, [109:03] "I'm starting this group to build ramps [109:05] for disabled vets." And I'm talking to [109:08] county service officers around the area, [109:10] the seven counties around the area. and [109:13] asking, you know, who needs a ramp? And [109:16] um I said, I think I'm going to need [109:18] money for materials and tools. And so [109:23] the Lakeville VFW said, "Whatever you [109:26] need." So they've funded, so they use [109:29] all the Poppy money goes for the ramp [109:33] team. And we've built over 200 ramps in [109:36] 20 years now in the entire sevenount [109:39] metro area. Um, we go as far as Anoka, [109:44] as far down as down south to Farbolt and [109:48] been everywhere building ramps for vets [109:50] and it's just a passion and I've got 10 [109:53] to 10 to 12 guys on the team and every [109:56] time we have a ramp build all 10 10 12 [109:59] guys are there and we have a great time, [110:02] great camaraderie and it's a a really [110:06] nice group of friends. [110:07] >> Yeah. Is there is there a name of that [110:09] organization or [110:10] >> It's the Lakeville VFW ramp team. [110:12] >> Oh, [110:13] >> I'm a big believer in in the Legion and [110:16] the VFW because it it's so healing for [110:19] veterans. So, if you're a veteran, [110:21] belong to those organizations, [110:23] participate in the meetings, meet the [110:26] other veterans there. you'll it'll pay [110:30] you benefits you you won't even believe [110:32] because you'll you'll be accepted for [110:35] who you are and what you did and people [110:38] want to know what you did and and so [110:40] it'll be reassuring to you. So, please [110:43] join those organizations [110:45] and if you're so moved, join the ramp [110:47] team and come hang out with a bunch of [110:49] guys that want to go take care of other [110:51] vets that I say, you know, step out and [110:56] do what your passion leads you to go do [110:59] and don't worry about the outcome [111:01] because [111:02] you're you're going to be paid back [111:05] tenfold [111:07] and your self-esteem, your self-respect, [111:10] your abilities, [111:11] the the things you're going to learn [111:13] about yourself that you can do or can't [111:15] do and you're going to learn to have a [111:18] level of courage that you know will be [111:21] unparalleled that you've never witnessed [111:22] before. So step out of your comfort zone [111:25] and and get involved with organizations [111:29] that are serving other people [111:32] [Music] [111:46] Okay. Uh, Lisa Wheeler. I was solely [111:50] when I was in the service. So, oh gosh. [111:52] So, I was in the army. Um, I was active [111:54] duty for three years and then I was in [111:56] the reserves for eight. Um, [112:01] division. I mean I was in the latest was [112:03] the 785th combat stress [112:07] >> medical [112:08] >> yeah medical and then um I got out as a [112:11] captain well I joined out of high school [112:14] which would have been 86 [112:16] and um I was lived in Germany for three [112:18] years so I that's I got off of active [112:20] duty in '89 [112:23] um actually I was live in Germany and I [112:25] came home right before the wall came [112:27] down so that was one way to remember [112:29] that but then I went to college and I [112:31] rejoined cuz I missed it in [112:37] 90. Do you remember when I came? Cuz he [112:40] was already in the unit. Was probably [112:42] like [112:44] 90 [112:46] 89 93 [112:49] >> I think 93. [112:51] Um and that was at Fort Snelling here in [112:54] Minnesota. Um joining the reserves um as [112:57] an occupational therapist on that one. [112:58] So that's when I had finished college. [113:00] So when I was in high school, I actually [113:02] was in the junior ROC, but it was Air [113:04] Force and I actually did not like the [113:07] commander. And so I decided not to join [113:10] the Air Force, which is probably the [113:12] wrong reason not to join the Air Force, [113:14] but and then so my best friend and I [113:16] talked it over and we didn't want to go [113:18] in the Navy or the Marines. So we [113:19] decided on the Army. Oh gosh, I was so [113:22] young. I was actually 17 when I joined. [113:24] Um 18 by the time I moved to Germany. So [113:27] really it was just a younger sister and [113:30] my mom, you know. Yeah. Well, when you [113:33] say training, basic training comes to [113:35] mind. And there was a lot of yelling. [113:39] A lot of yelling. And I'm not sure [113:41] exactly what I can share, but I can tell [113:43] you that drill sergeant Blennice was a [113:46] female. And we, this is when it was [113:48] separated, so we were all male or all [113:50] female. So it was all female. And um [113:53] when we were doing push-ups, when we [113:56] were doing push-ups, um if anybody went [113:59] down on their knees, she would get in [114:01] our faces and yell that [114:04] only horse get on their knees. And that [114:07] has stuck with me. Isn't that awful? [114:10] But uh yeah, today I don't do push-ups [114:12] on my knees. [114:18] What can you tell us about the kind of [114:20] work you did? [114:26] Well, active duty was in signal and that [114:28] just kind of all blended together. But [114:30] then in the reserves, um, we were a [114:33] mental health unit and so we did do a [114:35] lot more of, uh, [114:38] mental health type missions. Um, [114:40] especially when we were deployed, you [114:41] know, a lot of soldiers, they would come [114:43] to us when they had issues. And so that [114:46] was a lot of what we did. And so that [114:48] was pretty rewarding. I think I jump [114:50] immediately to a deployment, you know. [114:54] Um, [114:55] >> so you never mentioned you're in Iraq. [114:57] >> Yeah. [114:59] And we had just little teams of four. So [115:01] there were four of us on the mental [115:02] health team there. But um I happened to [115:05] be over in a place called Ramani and it [115:07] was um kind of near Fallujah. So a lot [115:10] of Marines um the Marines ended up [115:12] taking over the base where we were after [115:14] a while. But um we did the [115:18] bad guys kind of got lucky and we did [115:20] have a uh some missiles and bombs come [115:23] into the base and uh the CBS were new [115:25] there and they were right next to us and [115:27] uh [115:29] for whatever reason they had gathered [115:31] outside which is against the not what [115:34] you should do and unfortunately they got [115:36] hit and there were some casualties and [115:38] it was just that was that was awful. Um [115:42] that was one of the biggest things that [115:44] happened there. Um [115:46] otherwise one not quite so stressful was [115:49] uh boy combat flying in an Apache. [115:54] Talk about being like on a roller [115:56] coaster. I got to do that a number of [115:58] times which we never got fired on which [116:02] was good but that was that was kind of a [116:05] an adventure there. So there were some [116:07] cowboy pilots out there. [116:10] Yeah. I'm going to have to go back to I [116:12] think active duty on that one and and [116:14] really it [116:16] well I suppose we could even go [116:20] to when we were deployed cuz the I think [116:23] the interesting thing there is you know [116:25] you [116:27] kind of get used to [116:31] some of the income as weird as it sounds [116:32] the incoming the the the firefights that [116:35] you can hear and and some of that kind [116:37] of stuff and so I think you just kind to [116:41] prepare yourself for that and then you [116:43] live in that sort of [116:45] prepared state. But uh you know we would [116:48] get up and we would do um we'd have [116:51] people some of the soldiers that were [116:53] having issues. Some of them would come [116:55] and stay with us when I was working in [116:57] Anaconda when the team was in Anaconda. [116:59] And so we would um have different [117:03] groups, you know, to have them help [117:05] manage their stress and some of that [117:06] sort of stuff. Um, [117:10] lunch was always a high point, you know, [117:12] and um, [117:15] well, I guess I don't know. I guess [117:16] maybe the actual the dayto-day was [117:18] actually a little bit of [117:20] adjusting to whatever came. So, that was [117:23] always interesting. And I say that cuz, [117:25] you know, we um, Jeff and I happen to be [117:28] engaged by that point, but we couldn't [117:30] stay at the same place cuz we weren't [117:31] married yet. And uh about 10 months in [117:36] or so, they told us we could both go on [117:38] leave at the same time. So, which was [117:40] kind of exciting and we were looking [117:41] forward to it. And then when we got [117:43] home, we couldn't wait to go back, which [117:45] was really weird. So, you know, just [117:48] >> Yeah, it just Yeah, I guess I don't [117:50] know. I guess the normal was [117:53] just adjusting to whatever was happening [117:55] at the time for the deployment piece. Um [117:58] really active duty, not during wartime [118:01] was just like anything else. You get up [118:04] and go to work and yeah, do your thing. [118:11] >> What was the hardest part of the [118:13] military lifestyle for you to adapt to? [118:17] Um, [118:24] boy that's [118:29] I mean I'm for my personality I'm you [118:32] know a little OCD got some tendencies [118:34] there. So you know it was easy to get up [118:36] and put your uniform on because that's [118:38] what you had to choose from. I mean you [118:40] could only this is what your choices [118:41] were to eat you know so some of that was [118:43] easy. I almost think when it came to not [118:47] having to do that anymore was almost [118:49] harder. So if that kind of makes sense, [118:52] you know, whether you were whether it [118:54] was so active duty obviously that was [118:56] the case, but if you had a day off or [118:58] almost kind of trying to decide what to [119:00] do with your time or when we came home [119:02] from uh [119:05] being deployed, [119:07] I know a lot of us talked about how you, [119:09] you know, you'd look in the fridge and [119:10] you'd be like, I don't even know what to [119:12] pick here. you close it and you know go [119:15] sit down again. There's too many [119:16] choices. So [119:18] >> it kind maybe a little bit opposite of [119:20] of what you're asking me. But yeah, [119:25] >> honestly I think after a time I guess it [119:27] depends on a person's experience or [119:29] maybe even how long you'd been in or [119:31] that sort of thing. But uh stepping away [119:34] from it is difficult, you know. So [119:39] yeah, after active duty, I was ready to [119:42] be done with active duty, but but then [119:44] even after just a short time, I thought, [119:46] you know, I really missed the [119:47] camaraderie and just the the overall [119:50] military thing. So I went back in the [119:51] reserves and then stayed for eight years [119:53] and actually got out because we decided [119:55] to start a family. So um we know we had [119:57] seen the mom and dad deployment thing [119:59] and didn't want to have to do that if we [120:01] had a child. So [120:03] So that's what got me out. Otherwise, I [120:05] probably would have stayed in, too. But [120:07] yeah. Um, well, let's see. We came home [120:10] in 2005 from our deployment. [120:13] Um, we got married that year. [120:16] So, it wasn't it was in 2006 cuz I had [120:19] to, as a captain, I had to resign my [120:21] commission and then they had to accept [120:23] it. Um, [120:27] I want to say August of 2006. And to be [120:30] honest, I was like, I got it. And I was [120:32] like, "All right, I know I asked for it, [120:33] but could they could have fought for me [120:34] a little bit?" [120:38] But yeah, it was it was a definitely a [120:40] time of transition. So, yeah. So, I've [120:42] been out for a little while. [120:43] >> And how did your life change after [120:46] service? [120:49] Well, I never ran again. [120:55] Um, [120:59] you don't know. You know, I kept all of [121:01] my stuff in duffel bags down in the [121:04] basement for years, didn't I? Yeah. [121:07] Well, I got rid of quite a bit of it. [121:10] And that was actually really emotional. [121:13] I cried as I peeled name tags off and [121:16] stuff, you know. Um, but otherwise, you [121:19] know, it it does open up a whole [121:21] different I mean, you have more time. [121:23] you don't really have to focus a lot on [121:26] the next drill coming up and what is the [121:29] plan and some of that. So I guess that's [121:32] really it. And then uh yeah for us [121:34] unfort issues but we finally had a child [121:37] and so that that obviously took up a lot [121:39] more time too and that was most [121:41] definitely worth it. I think I think is [121:43] the state of the world today is a little [121:45] bit tricky especially now I have a son [121:47] right who's going to have to do the [121:49] selective service eventually and all [121:50] that. He has said he doesn't want to [121:53] join and I can understand that. Um [121:56] probably at 13 I didn't want to either. [121:59] But um I do think our sense of [122:04] I'm going to call it patriotism these [122:05] days is a little bit skewed. It's kind [122:07] of become a dirty word and and that's [122:10] unfortunate. And hopefully we can get [122:11] back to [122:13] just more the supporting of the American [122:15] way of life [122:18] without it [122:20] being looked down upon. Does that kind [122:22] of make sense? You know what I mean? So [122:24] yeah, that's probably the biggest thing. [122:27] Hopefully that will will change and we [122:29] can get back to being proud [122:32] without it being exclusive. I don't I [122:34] don't know what the right wording is, [122:35] but Yeah. Yeah. [122:38] [Music] [122:52] My name is Mike Lotser. My branch of [122:55] service was US Army. The most recent [122:58] division was 34th Infantry. Uh my last [123:02] rank was captain. Well, I served uh in [123:07] Bazra, Iraq from 2009 to [123:12] 2010 for a 13month tour. Uh I served [123:17] stateside in Pastina, California for a [123:20] couple of years in the California Army [123:23] National Guard. um in uh South Carolina, [123:27] Fort Jackson, Fort Knox, Kentucky, Fort [123:30] Lewis, Washington [123:33] um and Brook Army Medical Center in [123:36] Texas. [123:38] And the date dates of service was 2004 [123:42] to 2012 was my time in service. The US [123:45] Army um not particularly by choice. I [123:50] just happened to um be brought to a [123:53] recruiter with a friend of mine. We were [123:56] accepted into Fuller Seminary in [123:58] Pastina, California, which was going to [124:00] be rather expensive. And my friend [124:03] Ryan's dad suggested we talk to a [124:05] recruiter about the military paying for [124:08] our seminary and we should think about [124:09] becoming chaplain in the military. And [124:12] so the army recruiter happened to be the [124:15] one in. [124:17] Who or what did you leave behind when [124:20] you went to serve? [124:23] >> Uh when I deployed to Iraq, I left [124:26] behind my wife Erica. [124:28] Um and we had been separated [124:33] in training schools prior to that and on [124:36] some assignments. And so she was very [124:38] patient uh with me. Um but we didn't [124:43] have children at the time which ma made [124:45] those years of separation [124:48] uh much easier than some. In 2008, [124:54] I believe or nine, I went to Brook Army [124:56] Medical Center for a course called [124:59] combat medical ministry. And young [125:02] chaplain were taught how to minister to [125:05] people who are dying by serving in the [125:08] um level one trauma emergency room at [125:11] the hospital. And so we would learn how [125:14] to take a knee and comfort people who [125:17] were experiencing gunshot wounds or who [125:20] had been run over by a vehicle or who [125:23] had experienced an amputation in a [125:25] traumatic way. And so that training [125:29] school was probably the most unique um [125:31] experience. Um not something I would [125:34] have ever uh thought I would would do, [125:37] but helped me be a better chaplain in [125:39] combat for sure. As a young chaplain in [125:42] the military, the work varied [125:44] considerably. Um there was a season [125:46] where I did a lot of strong bonds [125:48] marriage uh facilitating where I would [125:51] facilitate retreats for couples on [125:53] active duty and teach them how to [125:55] communicate better and uh express [125:57] forgiveness and work through marital [125:59] problems and reintegrate into their [126:01] marriage after deployments. And that was [126:04] a learning curve because I hadn't been [126:05] married very long and didn't know much. [126:07] Uh but it my ignorance was a blessing in [126:10] some ways. Um because I I would pass the [126:13] microphone around to couples and get [126:15] their thoughts and it created a good [126:17] group dynamic. Uh there was another [126:19] season where I did a lot of death [126:21] notifications as a notification [126:22] chaplain. That was a very heavy, [126:25] grief-filled season where I would knock [126:27] on doors and um of families who would be [126:31] known as gold star families uh with a [126:34] notification officer and uh that was [126:36] very hard and did a lot of funerals and [126:39] a lot of uh grief counseling which was [126:42] rare for a young officer in his 20s to [126:45] encounter that much death. Um [126:49] but then being a chaplain in combat was [126:51] unique as well and uh got to start a [126:54] coffee house called Holy Joe's Coffee [126:57] and uh minister to all the different [126:59] branches [127:00] uh in Iraq and fly to little fire bases [127:04] and do um services for people on big [127:07] bases and little bases um all sorts of [127:11] of varied assignments. [127:15] What are one or two of your most [127:17] memorable experiences during your [127:19] service? [127:22] >> Well, probably the besides the casualty [127:26] notification uh tour of duty, which will [127:29] always stick with me, and I I've [127:31] remembered those vividly, of course, [127:33] just as someone who who sees those two [127:36] uniformed officers at their door will [127:39] never forget that. Um the most vivid [127:42] memories in combat were um being a part [127:44] of a rocket attack in Boser, Iraq in [127:48] 2009. I was teaching a financial peace [127:51] university course at the time for a [127:53] number of soldiers at a division [127:54] headquarters in a secure kind of half [127:57] underground facility and we had rocket [128:00] fire incoming on the on the base which [128:03] wasn't abnormal. Um, but then a [128:05] lieutenant, Lieutenant Aaron Towner uh [128:08] in the course had a radio and said that [128:10] they were calling for a chaplain and I [128:12] was the closest one, but the all clear [128:15] was not given and so we had to make the [128:17] decision um to travel through the rocket [128:20] attack or not. Um but they did report [128:24] there was one uh casualty and two [128:27] severely wounded soldiers and they were [128:29] requesting a chaplain. And really to [128:31] Aaron Towner's credit, uh he looked at [128:34] me and he said, "Let's do it." And he [128:36] drove me through through a pretty [128:39] dangerous environment. And we made it to [128:42] a makeshift medical tent, not a hardened [128:45] secure location, and uh Aaron was [128:48] stopped at the door, but they welcomed [128:50] me in. And um I spent time with two [128:53] soldiers as they bled to death, about 30 [128:56] minutes with each of them. um was able [128:59] to use the training that I I um [129:03] benefited from at Brook Army Medical [129:06] Center and took a knee and as some [129:09] medics and a doc tried to stop bleeding [129:12] and [129:13] tourniquet and um help wounds that were [129:17] clearly um beyond [129:19] um medical science to save a person. and [129:23] I was able to kind of look look uh first [129:26] um Carlos Wilcox in the eye and comfort [129:29] him, tell him that we're proud of him, [129:31] we love him, this isn't the end, share [129:34] the hope I have uh that God is with him [129:37] and he will be with him. Um, I remember [129:40] them calling the time of death and [129:41] standing up, seeing the defeated look on [129:43] the doctor's faces and really felt God [129:47] prompted through me because I, this was [129:50] much beyond my years as a 27year-old uh, [129:54] captain, but really felt um, kind of the [129:57] words coming out of my mouth, this isn't [129:59] your fault. Let's pray. And I prayed for [130:00] the the medical team. And then we [130:02] pivoted and I turned and I I did the [130:05] same thing with with uh Dan Drevnik who [130:08] was succumbing to his wounds but looked [130:11] in better shape and was able to tell him [130:13] his parents loved him and we loved him. [130:16] We're proud of him. This isn't the end. [130:17] And in each young man's ear, um, I [130:21] recited the 23rd Psalm and I led him [130:24] through the Lord's Prayer and tried to [130:26] be a calm, um, pastoral voice of, uh, [130:32] comfort and obviously a painful end for [130:36] both of those young men. Um, I had known [130:39] both of those individuals even though we [130:41] had a 1300 person battalion. Um, my [130:44] roommate was the commander of the [130:46] military police unit to which they both [130:48] belong. So, I knew those soldiers more [130:51] intimately than others. And I remember [130:54] just recently um fixing a a DAP plate um [130:59] on on the body armor of Dan Drevnik when [131:03] I was praying for a group of people as [131:04] they left for a convoy. And so it was [131:07] very surreal to having just joked with [131:10] him a few weeks earlier or days earlier [131:13] and fixed his DAP plate now really being [131:16] the last person that would speak to him. [131:18] Um [131:19] after we got him on a helicopter he he [131:21] did pass in route. Um I I prayed over [131:25] the the body of Wordish a young man who [131:27] was killed on impact in that rocket [131:29] attack and then spent uh almost two days [131:32] up without sleeping. um as there was a [131:35] long line of people who were pretty [131:38] severely affected by uh the loss of [131:40] those two soldiers and that is still a [131:43] bit of a blur of a of a time. But that [131:46] that's definitely my most memorable uh [131:48] experience. I still remember looking [131:50] down and seeing not my blood but their [131:52] blood all over my uniform and my hands [131:54] and my boots and just the reality of war [131:57] really coming home. um in that moment. [132:01] There's another um incident that that [132:04] probably stands out in a similar way [132:07] where um an officer who was a a [132:11] colleague of mine uh was overwhelmed and [132:14] took his own life um with his sidearm [132:17] and uh left a note for his his roommate [132:21] to find. And I was showing a football [132:23] game at Holy Joe's coffee that I ran and [132:27] it happened to be the middle of the [132:28] night to to catch the game. And so I had [132:31] just was the highest ranking officer [132:33] that was awake in the area and his [132:35] roommate found me with the suicide note. [132:38] And I um you know, your heart drops [132:41] thinking I can't I hope he he didn't do [132:43] that. And uh yet I woke up our [132:46] lieutenant colonel, Colonel Hansen, and [132:49] uh another company commander, Cap, [132:52] Captain Mark Graph, and uh among other [132:55] officers. And um anyways, we we uh [132:59] looked we were sent to look to to try to [133:02] find this officer who we cared for and [133:04] feared for. And I ended up finding his [133:06] his body. He had taken his life. And [133:08] that was a a very strange uh scene to as [133:12] the sun was rising um to to find you [133:16] know um him and just to pray for his [133:20] parents, his family and just to feel the [133:22] weight not just of combat but of [133:25] of really the the the cost of um a [133:29] warrior culture in general. You know, [133:31] suicide's a real factor. And people [133:35] don't just die from rocket and gunfire. [133:37] They they also die from despair and [133:39] feeling so overwhelmed that they have [133:41] what I like to call a heart attack of [133:43] the mind. They they make a permanent [133:45] choice from a place that lacks reason. I [133:49] fully believe uh Tad was his name would [133:52] not have made that choice if he would [133:53] have understood the ramifications and [133:55] the hurt that that would cause. But um I [133:59] just will never forget that moment [134:02] either. So chaplain have an incredible [134:06] variety depending on um their duty [134:09] assignment, their rank, uh their branch, [134:12] their season, their specialty. Um but [134:15] what is [134:18] constant about the chapency [134:21] at least in my experience was uh you're [134:24] a person that's safe enough to show [134:28] weakness to and so people who are really [134:30] hurting in a warrior culture will keep [134:32] that hurt inside and kind of posture and [134:35] make it seem like everything's fine when [134:37] it's not. And the chaplain then becomes [134:39] one person where they can kind of [134:40] actually [134:43] be okay with not being okay for a [134:45] moment. And so that was a continual part [134:48] of every day I think in every state in [134:50] every place where there was at least one [134:53] person you'd run into in a day where you [134:55] could see there was a lot of pain and [134:57] they just wanted to be honest about that [134:59] pain for a little brief moment. And that [135:01] was a privilege to to be a person who [135:04] could could at least sit in silence with [135:07] that sometimes offer wisdom into that. [135:10] Not not often offer helpful answers [135:14] because a lot of times the pain is a [135:16] result of a no-win situation like war [135:18] and loss and trauma. But there's a [135:21] tradition in the Jewish faith called [135:23] sitting shiva. And when somebody dies, [135:26] rather than offering the right words, [135:28] you acknowledge that words are are not [135:31] super helpful. Um, and the only thing [135:33] that's really helpful is your presence [135:36] and your willingness to join them in [135:37] their pain and maybe food. And so to sit [135:40] Shiva is for seven days to show up and [135:42] just be quiet and be sad with somebody [135:44] who's sad and maybe offer some food as [135:46] well and eat with them. And a lot of the [135:49] chapency involves a form of sitting [135:52] shiva and just allowing people to be sad [135:54] in your presence and and sharing in that [135:56] grief with them. Um, you know, I was [135:58] very busy when I was deployed in combat [136:01] zones and so I honestly didn't have a [136:03] whole lot of margin to talk to my [136:05] family. Um, [136:07] there there seemed to be a never- ending [136:10] line of soldiers that wanted to talk to [136:12] the chaplain. And in the hours that [136:14] would have made sense for me to be [136:15] calling home, that seemed to be when [136:17] they wanted to talk. And so looking [136:20] back, I I feel like that was really [136:22] probably hard on my family. Um for me, I [136:25] was just really wrapped up in the [136:26] busyiness of it. So I did write a lot of [136:28] letters and I wrote um enough letters to [136:33] realize that there's actually a real [136:36] significance to letterw writing. And so [136:38] then I started a program [136:40] in Iraq. not started it but implemented [136:43] it I guess where it would help it was [136:45] called letters to home and it was a [136:49] program that helped encourage soldiers [136:50] to write letters because I think that's [136:52] a lost art and uh the hardest letter I [136:55] wrote or would help others uh start the [136:58] process of writing was a letter in case [137:00] I don't come home and that evolved into [137:03] a video ministry where we would make [137:06] some videos um and I've encouraged [137:08] people even not in the military to do [137:10] that as a discipline. And if you make a [137:12] short video that tells your immediate [137:16] family member how much you love them and [137:18] maybe say that feel free to play this at [137:20] my funeral or celebration of life, that [137:22] will give you such a sharp sense of what [137:24] your priorities are and what you're [137:26] living for and if you're doing right by [137:28] the people you love. And so the fact [137:31] that I didn't get to talk to my loved [137:32] ones when I was separated, actually [137:34] something beautiful came out of that. [137:40] Are there other aspects of your service [137:42] you would like to share such as [137:44] accomplishments, challenges, or impacts [137:47] on your family? [137:52] I don't think the military is for [137:54] everybody, but I wish everybody would [137:57] have some of the benefits of serving in [137:59] the military. And I guess I don't mean [138:01] the the more obvious ones like [138:05] discipline and physical fitness and [138:07] leadership training. Those are all good [138:08] things. Um, but whatever your role, [138:12] whatever your branch in the military, if [138:14] you serve in harm's way in the military, [138:18] it's almost impossible not to have a [138:21] deep appreciation for people who are [138:23] completely different than you, who if [138:25] you were on the civilian side of things, [138:28] not only would you not enjoy hanging out [138:30] with them, you would go go out of your [138:32] way to never hang out with them. And [138:34] what combat does and what the training [138:39] that is harsh enough that prepares one [138:41] for combat does is it bonds people [138:43] together across personality diversity, [138:46] race, um ideology, uh preferences, [138:51] things like that. And so I found that [138:53] the military for me gave me a deep deep [138:57] appreciation [138:59] and sense of gratitude for people who [139:01] are very very different from me and who [139:04] would honestly bother me and I would [139:07] find obnoxious in any other setting. And [139:10] I think that widened [139:12] my appreciation for people in general of [139:16] different backgrounds. So I'm really [139:18] grateful for the military for that. [139:22] Do you recall the day your service [139:24] ended? [139:27] >> I don't recall it vividly. It was in [139:32] February of 2012. [139:34] Um, but I do have a picture that reminds [139:37] me of it. It's a picture of me holding [139:39] um [139:41] my son, who was an infant, my only son [139:44] at the time, Clark, in my uniform. And [139:48] that picture uh is in our house to this [139:51] day. And it's special to me because it [139:54] reminds me that um the new mission after [139:59] the military is not just my civilian [140:02] vocation, but to to be the type of [140:04] father and the type of husband and um [140:07] servant leader of my family that that um [140:12] would would make um my service in the [140:14] military um [140:17] significant and meaningful and would [140:20] bring meaning to it. even the [140:21] sacrificial hard traumatic parts of it. [140:23] And so that was a a bittersweet day [140:26] because I left the military not because [140:28] I was done with it, but because I really [140:30] wanted a family and I knew the [140:32] operational tempo and my role and [140:35] position with my um specific skill set [140:38] was that I would continue to deploy at a [140:40] rate where I would miss very large parts [140:43] of the family I was trying to to lead [140:46] and raise. So it was a bittersweet [140:48] decision for me. I had a few years where [140:50] it was really difficult for me to figure [140:52] out how to do life uh not wearing the [140:55] uniform. And if you knew me well or [140:58] observed me, I don't know that you would [140:59] have noticed that it was really [141:01] difficult for me. A lot of that was [141:02] going on internally. Um but I think just [141:06] as much as we focus on post-traumatic [141:09] stress, and that's a real thing, and [141:11] that's certainly something that anybody [141:13] who experiences enough trauma will have [141:15] some of. I love the phrase, you don't go [141:17] into a coal mine without getting some [141:19] dust on you. Um, and I had my share of [141:22] dust [141:24] because I had a significant amount of [141:26] time in the depths of the coal mine. Um, [141:29] all that's true, but I also have learned [141:32] in the many years since I got out, that [141:34] was 2012, it's now 2024, [141:38] that there's something called [141:39] post-traumatic growth. And if you [141:41] cooperate and graduate, as the infantry [141:44] is fond of saying, a slogan, um, if [141:47] you're open to change and self-awareness [141:51] and growth and pursuing healing and [141:53] integration and all of that, if you [141:55] humble yourself to learn the right [141:58] lessons that that the military gave you [142:01] and apply those in a new setting, you [142:02] can experience what's called [142:04] post-traumatic growth. And I think I'm [142:06] the recipient of that as well, and I'm [142:08] grateful for that. I remember in some [142:11] infantry school we were running in a [142:13] column and a drill sergeant was [142:15] screaming at us and um I think it's a [142:19] ranger school saying mind over matter if [142:22] you don't mind it doesn't matter or if [142:25] you don't mind it won't matter something [142:27] like that and I remember pondering that [142:30] as I was experiencing cardio fatigue and [142:32] everyone was kind of at the end of [142:34] themselves is that true if you choose to [142:37] not focus on the pain. If you don't [142:40] think it matters, it won't matter. And I [142:42] think I lived as if that was true in my [142:44] years in the military. In the years [142:46] after the military, you know, I [142:48] struggled with some nightmares and some [142:51] a lot of sleepless nights as what some [142:54] of the the the nightmarish things I saw [142:57] kind of were quarantined in parts of my [142:59] brain. And I chose not to think about [143:02] those and avoid those. And it took me [143:04] sitting down with a therapist to really [143:06] confront some of those things to realize [143:08] that that phrase may have utility to to [143:11] motivate people to move past pain points [143:14] and to do hard things. And that's [143:16] necessary to train warriors, but it's [143:19] not true in the truest sense. Um, you [143:22] can't, there are some forms of pain and [143:25] loss and grief that you can't just use [143:28] the power of positive thinking or strong [143:31] willed [143:32] worldview to brush past. Um, just like [143:36] if your if your leg was shot and your [143:40] free femur bone was crushed, you can be [143:43] as positive as possible and you can be [143:45] as tough and courageous and try to keep [143:48] running, but eventually that bone will [143:51] not support your body weight. And so, I [143:54] don't know that I ever really think of [143:56] that phrase the same way. Mind over [143:58] matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't [144:00] matter. Our mind is important and our [144:03] attitude matters significantly and um we [144:07] have to take responsibility for the [144:09] level of uh [144:12] pain that we've gone through in life [144:15] whether that's been self-inflicted or [144:16] just uh [144:18] as a part of being in a a combat zone [144:22] literally or metaphorically. Um, and [144:25] part of taking responsibility is is [144:28] focusing on what matters. And some of [144:31] that self-care. And [144:33] I think a lot of that is serving others [144:36] and and serving our creator. But [144:38] ironically, if we don't learn how to [144:40] take care of ourselves and heal [144:41] ourselves and access healing, we're not [144:43] going to be very useful in serving [144:44] others, serving our creator. I resonate [144:47] with the phrase all gave some, some gave [144:50] all. Um, you know, being a casualty [144:53] notification chaplain, [144:55] helping active duty couples with their [144:58] marriage problems, uh, listening to the [145:02] crisises of individuals in combat zones [145:06] or stateates side or in training schools [145:08] as a chaplain, leading people in worship [145:11] and various strange things places on the [145:14] doing communion on the hood of a Humvee [145:17] in 130 degrees, things like that. um [145:20] gave me a really front row seat to um [145:23] the human condition and how beautiful it [145:26] is when we come together and we serve a [145:28] greater purpose. Um, but the fact is the [145:32] military was a blessing to me even [145:35] though it was a challenge and it made me [145:36] who I am today and made me a better [145:38] leader, a better husband, a better [145:40] father, a better citizen [145:42] and I'm eternally grateful for those um [145:47] like your son like your son who who gave [145:50] everything. Uh, I've worked uh as a [145:52] volunteer for Wounded Warrior and an [145:55] alumni of that organization as well. Uh, [145:58] I've served with the Yellow Ribbon. Uh, [146:00] Teed Up for the Troops here in Minnesota [146:02] has been important to me and I've helped [146:05] them raise funds. More recently, I've [146:08] been helping with a startup veteran [146:10] organization called Healing Heroes that [146:12] is trying to build a fleet of woodfire [146:15] saunas uh out of horse trailers, if you [146:18] can believe it, to drop those saunas off [146:21] in the home, the driveways of wounded or [146:23] discouraged veterans or active duty [146:25] members to give them the benefits of uh [146:28] heat therapy healing for mental health [146:30] and for pain management and to invite [146:33] them out of isolation. So, I've been uh [146:36] building saunas with other volunteers [146:39] and that's been been life-giving. [146:40] There's no shortage of great [146:42] organizations that help veterans. I like [146:44] the phrase [146:46] do for one what you wish you could do [146:48] for all. I don't know where that [146:51] originated, but I think what happens is [146:54] when we look at certain problems like [146:56] the 22 plus per day suicides of veterans [147:01] and active duty service members, we can [147:03] rightly feel so overwhelmed [147:06] that we uh think a lot about the problem [147:09] but we don't do anything actually to [147:11] help the problem. And so our our [147:14] offering to the problem is something [147:16] like [147:18] anxiety, an offering of of concern or [147:21] anxious thought patterns. But I think as [147:26] a person of faith, you know, my advice [147:29] would be to if you believe there is a [147:31] God who's personal and will guide us [147:33] personally, just to say, "God, I I have [147:36] a heart for veterans and I have a heart [147:38] for gold star families and I have a [147:40] heart for active duty personnel. would [147:41] you give me eyes to see one person that [147:44] I could meaningfully serve in a small [147:47] way and then just open your eyes and do [147:50] the next right thing. But I think when [147:52] we start off small like that, it has a [147:54] way of gaining momentum as opposed to um [147:57] a mistake I see a lot of people make [147:59] where they they try to solve the problem [148:01] by starting such a large organization [148:03] from scratch. [148:05] uh they skip the the wisdom of the [148:07] infantry that says when when standing up [148:10] a a war fighting machine, it's always [148:12] crawl, walk, run, you know, and so don't [148:15] despise the small beginnings of helping [148:18] a one single veteran and being open to [148:22] helping in whatever way would be most [148:23] helpful to that one individual. [148:26] Minnesota is a special state for [148:28] warriors who retire or are discharged or [148:32] medically retired or wounded. um off of [148:35] active duty and any of the branches uh [148:38] because there is no active duty base in [148:39] Minnesota that unites us. Not a huge one [148:42] like Fort Benning or Fort Jackson or [148:45] Fort Knox. And so there's a lot of [148:47] veterans living in isolation. The [148:49] Minnesota National Guard has deployed [148:51] more than its fair share has deployed [148:53] significantly more than a lot of active [148:54] duty counterpart divisions. And so [148:57] there's a lot of veterans in this state [149:00] who I think are quietly suffering and [149:04] isolation and who don't feel connected [149:06] and don't feel like anybody else [149:08] understands their pain. And so I I think [149:11] there's a lot of need and opportunity [149:12] there. I also think motans have really [149:15] stepped up in the last 15 20 years and [149:17] met that with the beyond the yellow [149:19] ribbon program and many other examples [149:21] I've already talked about. But just like [149:24] any significant endeavor, the temptation [149:27] is to u get tired of doing the right [149:30] thing and feel like we've done enough [149:32] for that and stop before the mission's [149:34] complete. So I would just suggest to [149:37] people keep keep noticing the [149:40] visible and invisible wounds of the [149:42] veterans and the warrior families around [149:45] you and keep being open to doing for one [149:49] what you wish you could do for all. [149:53] [Music] [150:06] Steven Andrew Kina, the United States [150:07] Marine Corps. I was a staff sergeant and [150:10] an military policeman with the first, [150:12] second, and fourth marine divisions. I [150:14] was in the Marine Corps from 2001 to [150:16] 2011. had a long history of family in [150:19] the military and so I always knew I [150:21] wanted to serve my country and when I [150:23] started uh comparing different branches [150:25] I just realized that the Marine Corps [150:26] seemed to be uh the toughest and most [150:28] challenging. When I served and deployed [150:30] I left family behind. I was close with [150:32] my family. So it was a tough transition [150:35] being away from them for so long and of [150:37] course being away from uh uh friends and [150:40] and um just different activities and [150:42] hobbies that I had to put aside for a [150:44] year at a time. [150:46] I was a military policeman uh but we [150:48] were combat military police. So our [150:50] duties usually around uh route [150:52] reconnaissance and uh dealing with PS [150:54] and route securities. I think a lot of [150:57] the uh most memorable times uh were [151:00] overseas and some good, some bad. One of [151:03] the most memorable times was uh arriving [151:05] in downtown Baghdad the the day um that [151:08] the infantry arrived and um getting to [151:11] see a lot of destruction and a lot of [151:12] things that were uh um things that you [151:15] you carry with the with you for the rest [151:17] of your life but uh um things that you [151:20] hope people don't have to experience and [151:22] see. Uh but then there were a lot of fun [151:24] times where we got to do uh exciting [151:26] things, got to, you know, explore uh [151:28] markets in downtown Baghdad and go buy [151:30] food and and make meals. uh uh with our [151:33] unit and just uh getting to know some of [151:35] the local people and and um experiencing [151:37] a different culture, getting to see u [151:40] things that are referenced in the Bible [151:41] and and just uh getting to see him [151:43] firsthand and pretty pretty special uh [151:45] life experiences. I think uh after the [151:48] the initial invasion of Iraq, we were [151:50] stationed in Kuwait and getting to work [151:52] at a um a base that was doing uh [151:55] customs. So, we got to spend hours and [151:58] hours a day helping other uh service [152:00] members go home to their families. And [152:01] it wasn't the most exciting duty to [152:03] begin with and not the most exciting [152:04] base, just out in the middle of the [152:06] desert. Um, and then getting to see [152:08] everyone else happy and and going home. [152:11] So, that was a that was a little tough [152:12] for us. I wouldn't say I really had much [152:14] of a typical day in the life because I [152:16] went from training to deployments to uh [152:19] more training to reserves. Uh, so it was [152:22] kind of a um [152:25] changing uh my my duties were changing [152:27] throughout my time in the service. So uh [152:30] just depended on what I was doing and [152:31] overseas it was a lot of sitting around [152:33] and uh keeping yourself busy and uh [152:35] different missions that were uh you know [152:37] different dayto-day and then u back in [152:39] the US just uh a lot of training a lot [152:42] of sitting. So there's a lot of downtime [152:43] in the military, but then uh when it's [152:46] time to go, you go. And so, uh, life was [152:48] kind of everchanging, I guess, for me [152:50] being a person that's pretty confident [152:52] and pretty independent. Um, uh, it was [152:55] tough, you know, initially going into [152:57] the military, having someone tell you [152:58] what you can and can't do and, um, [153:01] deciding every, uh, factor of your day [153:03] and every decision in your life. So, uh, [153:06] that was that took some time to get used [153:07] to, but, um, you know, I just kind of [153:09] found ways to challenge myself and and [153:11] figure out ways to think for myself and [153:13] and, uh, kind of, um, adapt to the [153:16] military lifestyle, but, yet be my own [153:18] person and make my own decisions. I [153:20] think one of the things that I, I think [153:22] about a lot now as a, as I'm a father [153:24] is, uh, there's only so many things in [153:26] life that someone can't take away. I [153:28] mean, you can't uh, uh, can't guarantee [153:30] that you'll keep the same job or uh, [153:32] your home. Uh, God forbid, uh, you know, [153:34] God takes your children away. Um, but [153:37] being a service member is something I I [153:39] I carry with the re with me the rest of [153:41] my life. No one can take that away from [153:43] me. I'm a Marine uh, till the day I die. [153:45] I'm a father till the day I die. And so [153:47] it's it's special. It's one of those [153:48] things in life that you can be proud of [153:50] and um, no one can take away because I [153:53] phased out, you know, kind of gradually [153:55] through the reserves. Um, it wasn't a [153:57] major transition for me. had already [153:58] kind of readapted to civilian life and [154:00] but it was a [154:03] definitely a transition where I moved [154:05] from something that was so meaningful [154:07] and and so um important to me in life to [154:11] then not having that be a part of my [154:13] daily life. It was a challenge and [154:14] missing different you know Marines that [154:16] I'd uh spent a lot of time with um and [154:19] missing that purpose in life. So I think [154:21] for me it was mainly how do I find a [154:23] different purpose and and conveniently I [154:25] got married right after I got out of the [154:26] service and then started having kids. So [154:28] definitely that purpose in life just [154:30] kind of shifted. I definitely miss the [154:32] the camaraderie being around other [154:33] Marines and having people that [154:35] understand um what you're thinking and [154:37] what you're experiencing and and what [154:39] drives you. Um, I miss that that routine [154:42] that those challenges, the constant uh [154:46] need to try and be better and and uh um [154:49] challenge yourself. Uh but at the same [154:51] time, again, I I I made the decision to [154:54] leave the service when I started having [154:56] a family because I didn't necessarily [154:57] want to put them through deployment. So, [154:59] I'm okay with not the constant change [155:01] and uh uprooting yourself and uh and [155:04] some of the the monotony and the the [155:06] tedious uh activities sometimes that [155:08] come with military lifestyle, a lot of [155:10] downtime. So, it's nice now being able [155:12] to kind of control my own life and make [155:14] my own decisions, but but there are a [155:16] lot of things I miss. Yeah. For me, [155:17] coming from a a family that had a long [155:19] history of military, um it was important [155:22] for me to continue that service to to [155:24] not only honor my my father, my [155:27] grandfather's um but also just um [155:31] serving my country and knowing that I [155:33] did something for the greater good and [155:35] again um for the rest of my life, I can [155:38] be proud that I that I um uh served my [155:41] country and and did something that um [155:44] was more than just myself and something [155:46] that my my kids can honor now too. The [155:48] way I respected my uh father and [155:52] grandfathers, now my kids get to see and [155:54] and understand that uh that service to [155:57] country and how important it is. I think [155:59] it's important to to separate the idea [156:01] of support versus embracing. And I know [156:04] um for many years now, people have been [156:06] much more supportive of the military [156:07] being willing to uh um you know, send [156:10] care packages or or go to an event. But [156:12] I think most importantly, we need to [156:14] have a better understanding of what it [156:15] means to serve and the importance of it. [156:17] And I think parents who are willing to [156:19] support the military, but yet not quite [156:21] willing or uh or u people are much more [156:25] willing to support the military, but yet [156:27] there's still a hesitation to to embrace [156:29] the the uh idea of service. And [156:31] especially for parents who uh may be [156:34] supportive of the idea of the military, [156:35] but not quite ready to to send their son [156:37] or daughter um off into harm's way. And [156:39] I know that's that's a tough decision. [156:41] Um, but at the same time, um, I think [156:43] it's important for all Americans to [156:45] understand that, uh, we all are indebted [156:47] to the country and to our and to our [156:49] fellow service members to make sure that [156:51] we're, um, we're a part of the Sorry, [156:54] I'm just struggling to find my words [156:56] here. Yeah, I think it's important for [156:58] people to understand the importance of [157:00] serving a country and that, you know, as [157:02] parents, we want the best for our [157:03] children. Um, and for many that's, you [157:06] know, all they're willing to support the [157:07] military, but yet not necessarily [157:09] willing to uh to encourage their child, [157:11] son or daughter to uh to join the [157:13] service. And I think it's important that [157:15] um we put a strong value on the [157:17] military, no different than going to a [157:18] 4-year university or um buying a house [157:22] or starting a family that uh um as a [157:24] parent um we need to be more supportive [157:26] of uh the military service and [157:28] encouraging our kids to to serve their [157:30] country. [157:32] [Music] [157:46] Uh, Sergeant Derek Lee Goodridge. I was [157:48] in the United States Marine Corps in [157:50] Third Battalion, Fifth Marines out in [157:53] Pendleton, California. I joined in [157:56] August 2006 and medically retired [158:00] July of 2012. [158:04] So one day I was sitting in uh in the [158:06] high school cafeteria. Um we always had [158:09] all the branches coming in and one day [158:11] the Marine Corps walked in in their [158:13] fancy dress blues and I'm like, "Huh, [158:17] that's what I'm going to do." And didn't [158:19] even talk to my parents about it, [158:21] nothing. Started working with a [158:22] recruiter. So I was the first one in my [158:25] family to actually join any branch. So I [158:28] wanted to set that that new pathway for [158:32] our younger generation to follow in my [158:34] family. And I made it in and then [158:38] shortly after I got in, some of my other [158:41] little or younger cousins were, oh, I [158:44] want to follow that. I want to do that. [158:45] And then some of them joined the army. [158:47] Some of them joined the Air Force. And [158:49] now my family or my kids [158:53] um as of right now my oldest is looking [158:56] at the Air Force and then my two girls [158:59] are I want to be in the military. I want [159:01] to be on but obviously their pathways [159:04] change in a million times from the time [159:07] they're young all the way up to actually [159:09] becoming senior. So [159:12] >> sounds like you'd be proud of it if they [159:14] did. [159:14] >> Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. [159:17] uh when I uh what I left behind was a [159:19] young immature man and then uh [159:24] throughout the military I've matured [159:27] became the adult and person that I am [159:30] today. Um, a lot of things have changed [159:34] from when I first went into now. All the [159:37] way from [159:39] like the littleer stuff to jokes that I [159:44] would think were funny back then are [159:46] really immature these days. [159:50] But the the the difference from when I [159:53] went in to now um is that [159:58] that maturity level. um [160:01] just the way that a person grows and [160:03] learns and adapts and then especially [160:06] after injury you got to adapt to every [160:08] situation and [160:11] previously I would have got so [160:13] frustrated and gave up on a lot of stuff [160:16] and then throughout the years of [160:20] learning to adapt and overcome like [160:22] that's one of the big things in the [160:24] Marine Corps is adapt and overcome to [160:25] every situation well once you get hurt [160:29] that literally is put into perspective [160:31] on every single thing throughout the [160:33] day. Uh the the the one experience that [160:36] I can come up with that is the most [160:39] memorable is the day that I got hurt. Uh [160:42] it was uh it was IED blast that somebody [160:45] else had stepped on. [160:47] Um [160:50] we were out on a basic patrol that [160:52] morning. It was cold. I know that. Very [160:55] cold. because I had layers on and we [160:57] weren't supposed to and I did. [161:00] But um it was a ID blast. Somebody [161:04] stepped on it and [161:06] we or we found our initial ID, pulled [161:08] back, waited for EOD to come up and then [161:11] as we were holding security, somebody [161:13] else had uh stepped on a secondary and [161:18] many surgeries later here I am today. [161:21] Um, the only thing that I can actively [161:24] remember from that day was just the [161:26] stuff that I've seen off of a off of [161:28] video. But [161:31] >> there was actually video footage running [161:34] at the time it happened. [161:36] >> Mhm. Somebody uh had a helmet cam. [161:39] >> Huh. [161:40] So they got the the initial blast [161:44] on [161:46] the camera and then the camera cuts out [161:48] and then comes back onto me. [161:51] >> So I I've watched that video many times [161:56] trying to [161:58] analyze them things that we could have [162:00] done differently that day things to why [162:03] did it happen? How did it exactly [162:05] happen? But just watching the video [162:08] through like you. So the one that was [162:12] had the camera on was facing away from [162:14] everything and then you can hear the [162:16] blast. You can see all the blast and [162:19] then like I said it cuts out. So you [162:20] can't really analyze anything on like a [162:23] training aspect but you can analyze [162:28] training events medically afterwards. [162:31] And the guy that actually our corman [162:33] that saved me that day, I don't think he [162:36] could have done anything different. Like [162:38] obviously I'm still here, still alive. I [162:41] wish I had an arm, but I'd rather be [162:44] missing that and be alive than have it [162:47] and being dead. I'd have to say my [162:49] favorite duty station when when I was uh [162:52] forward deployed to Bahrain. [162:55] that was a we didn't really have to do [162:58] anything because it was a a naval base [163:01] and so the all the Navy MPs or the Navy [163:06] MPs took care of everything unless there [163:08] was a more serious situation then we [163:10] would cover their post. I think there [163:13] was only on a I think we were out there [163:15] for about seven months and I think we [163:17] only stood post probably two times out [163:20] there and so the rest of the time was [163:26] getting a bunch of dumb marines together [163:27] and doing whatever we can to stay out of [163:31] trouble. [163:32] [Laughter] [163:35] It was it was a that was a fun [163:37] deployment. [163:39] It was probably I've been to many [163:41] different places but Bahrain was [163:45] would have been the one that would uh [163:46] kept me in. Uh that one is is being away [163:50] from family. Um, that's that's the [163:53] biggest heart or the biggest part about [163:56] like anybody joining is you're this [163:59] young kid. Oh, I'm going to do this. I'm [164:02] going to do that. And then you actively [164:06] join the military and you learn the [164:08] aspects of being away from family. It's [164:10] hard. Like I'm a big mama's boy and when [164:15] I was over in Afghanistan, obviously we [164:17] couldn't. We didn't have phones. We [164:18] didn't have internet, like nothing. And [164:21] so it was back to the basic handwriting [164:23] and not having that communication [164:28] was was tough. But again, you learn to [164:32] adapt and overcome to that situation and [164:35] you lean on your brothers and sisters [164:37] that are out there with you. [164:40] And then [164:42] like kids like you miss your kids. I had [164:47] at the time just my one son and [164:51] God I just like it was hard being away [164:54] from him. It was hard reinlisting [164:56] because of that situation. But you want [164:59] to do good by everybody in your family. [165:01] you stay on this one path that you want [165:04] to have as a career to [165:07] and then [165:11] just [165:12] not have a lifestyle with your family is [165:15] it's it that's I think that's the most [165:16] difficult part or it was for me. [165:19] >> Yeah. So impacts on my family um not [165:22] only did it change myself but it changed [165:26] like my even my parents for the better. [165:28] Like before I joined the military, they [165:31] had no idea about gold star parents, [165:34] blue star families, [165:36] silver stars, none of that. But once I [165:40] joined, they started joining. Um, so one [165:43] of the the big ones around in Minnesota [165:46] is tee it up for the troops. Tribute to [165:47] the troops. They started riding with [165:50] tribute to the troops. Um, [165:53] so not only did [165:56] joining the military affect me, but it [165:58] also affected them for a greater causes [166:01] as well. And it opened their eyes up to [166:05] many different situations that everybody [166:10] circulated in the military is brought [166:13] into. So it it [166:16] affected them by meeting all these other [166:20] great people and families and so it it [166:24] benefits everybody. Uh my life [166:27] drastically changed. Um, obviously [166:31] it was a a normal body going into going [166:34] into the military and then afterwards [166:37] I'm a single ampute with many surgeries [166:41] under my belt because of the IED and [166:45] learning to live the ampute life with [166:49] two semidecent legs and you're missing [166:52] your dominant arm. You learn to you [166:56] learn very quickly on man maybe I can't [166:59] do that or maybe I shouldn't do that or [167:02] you know what I'm gonna force myself to [167:06] learn how to do that and keep that [167:09] positivity going and it it if I keep [167:13] myself going and finding different [167:15] things and [167:18] challenging myself it it opens my kids's [167:21] eyes and my parents' eyes and friends's [167:24] eyes to [167:26] like, [167:28] okay, no matter the situation, yes, you [167:32] may get knocked down, but you get right [167:34] the back up. Excuse my language, [167:37] but [167:39] you you can't let anything stop you. So, [167:42] yeah, the one thing that I miss is that [167:44] that camaraderie between that [167:46] brotherhood. Um, [167:48] that'll that'll never be the same. I [167:50] won't ever get it at the same no matter [167:52] how many different jobs I work. I'm I [167:54] won't have that same camaraderie with [167:57] the guys that I was in the military [167:58] with. Like I know they had my back 247 [168:02] no matter the situation. I can look at a [168:05] guy that I currently work with and be [168:07] like, I don't trust you to watch my six [168:09] to save anybody else's lives. So yeah, [168:13] the camaraderie is is that big one that [168:16] everybody would miss. And then the [168:19] things that I'm glad I left behind. Um [168:22] I'm not gonna stay on audio, [168:25] but I'm glad I left behind all the the [168:27] drinking and the fighting and that [168:30] immaturity stuff. What it meant to serve [168:33] for me was it [168:36] I wanted that like I said the that to [168:40] carve out that new path style or [168:42] lifestyle for my younger generation. So [168:44] growing up, my whole dad's side of the [168:47] family was drugs, alcohol, gang [168:50] violence, like all of that stuff. I [168:52] didn't want any part of it. I didn't [168:54] want my kids to be around it. None of [168:56] that. So growing up, my mom did amazing [169:00] with us to keep us out of that [169:02] lifestyle. [169:04] But obviously, it's still lurking in the [169:07] background with everything else. And I I [169:10] barely managed to graduate high school [169:12] because of [169:14] my dad's side of the family and all of [169:16] that, but I wanted to carve out that new [169:19] lifestyle for [169:21] me, my cousins, everybody else. And I [169:24] wanted to show my brothers and sisters [169:27] like, hey, no matter that past [169:30] situation, we can better ourselves for [169:33] not only ourselves, but our younger [169:35] generation, our kids, their kids. So, it [169:40] was uh [169:43] one of those times when it was just like [169:45] I need to do something different. Being [169:48] wounded, I have access to many different [169:52] veterans organizations. Um some of the [169:55] local ones that I associate with is Teed [169:58] Up for the Troops, Tribute to the [169:59] Troops, [170:01] um Minnesota's Outdoor Adventure [170:03] Foundation. [170:05] Um but like some of the bigger ones that [170:09] are more nationally I know teed up for [170:11] the troops is a national organization [170:15] but um Seer 5 fund they've helped me [170:19] tremendously like I get stuck in certain [170:22] situations where I'm having car issues I [170:25] can reach out to them and be like hey [170:27] this is a situation this is my financial [170:29] situation [170:31] anything you like we were on our way out [170:34] to California. Me and my fiance were and [170:37] she was pregnant at the time when we [170:39] decided to drive out there. Miserable [170:41] idea. Miserable. [170:44] But we drove out there and about 3/4 of [170:47] the way through we started having [170:48] transmission issues and we were on our [170:51] way out there for um one of our reunions [170:54] for deployment and we ended up making it [170:58] out there. Seer 51 paid for a new [171:01] transmission for us, paid for a rental [171:04] car while we were out there and then [171:06] right at the end of the vacation, we [171:09] picked up our car and managed to drive [171:11] home just fine. So like stuff like that, [171:14] like different smaller situations. They [171:17] send me uh a new Christmas ornament [171:20] every single year. Like even though I [171:22] barely talk to them, I still get that [171:24] that one Christmas ornament that even my [171:26] mom looks forward to seeing a picture [171:28] of. Hey, she'll call me. Hey, did you [171:30] get your Christmas ornament yet? Oh, not [171:33] yet. You'll be the first to know when I [171:35] do. Reach out and talk to somebody. Um, [171:40] you might not know the person to [171:42] contact, but somebody else might. [171:45] Doesn't hurt to just talk. Ask ask [171:49] questions. Um, find the local VFW. They [171:54] know a bunch of different military [171:55] organizations. talk to somebody in there [171:58] or find a veteran. Everybody knows [172:02] somebody to talk to about different [172:04] organizations and stuff like that. [172:07] [Music] [172:22] John Trost. Uh my branch of service was [172:25] Minnesota Army National Guard. Um I [172:29] retired as a major general twostar [172:33] and served within the many jobs within [172:37] the 34th Infantry Division. [172:40] You know, it's pretty interesting. Way [172:43] back in the fall of 1969, [172:47] the draft [172:50] had turned into an all volunteer army. [172:53] And so you were you were given a number [172:56] called the within the lottery system. I [172:59] was number 21. [173:01] And uh so my reaction was uh I decided I [173:05] would call home and have my dad go up to [173:08] the local National Guard Armory and and [173:10] put my name on the list to join the [173:12] Minnesota Army National Guard. And [173:15] whichever [173:16] called me first, if I got the letter [173:18] from the Army or from the local draft [173:20] board or was uh notified by the [173:23] Minnesota Army National Guard, I can [173:25] enlist there. That's where I would go. [173:28] I ended up in the Minnesota Army [173:30] National Guard for 41 years after that. [173:34] Well, I was never deployed to a theater [173:38] of war. However, uh went to many of the [173:42] different schools that one has to go [173:44] throughout your career and uh uh many [173:48] other times uh I was doing special [173:50] projects. I would leave home for two [173:52] three weeks at a time. So I missed uh [173:55] over the course of a 41-year career, I [173:58] missed many of the different events that [174:00] one's family does over time. So most of [174:02] it is is you miss many of the different [174:07] family [174:09] meaningful dates throughout the course [174:12] of your career and that happens to every [174:14] soldier. [174:16] Uh my most vivid memories are are [174:20] conducting tests [174:23] for u different artillery battalions. I [174:26] authored seven tests over the course of [174:29] my career and uh um high visibility, [174:35] high stress um shooting cannonballs all [174:39] hours of the day and night and grading [174:43] grading organizations and and [174:46] culminating with a report to a forcecom [174:50] and part of the active army. So, it was [174:52] a very rewarding uh experience, but a [174:56] lot of energy, time, and effort went [174:58] into designing and and accomplishing [175:01] that uh the test. [175:04] Well, there's again there's many, but I [175:07] guess the most memorable experience is [175:09] uh uh seeing [175:12] uh soldiers from within your [175:13] organization experience success and and [175:17] move up the ladder to get into other [175:18] jobs. and and and the military is [175:22] whether you realize it or not is really [175:23] a people business. Um you have to get a [175:27] mission accomplished but at the same [175:29] time you got to take care of your people [175:31] and if you don't do both at the same [175:33] time you end up with nothing. So you [175:35] have to do both. [175:38] That's interesting. I didn't have a [175:39] problem. I just uh [175:42] uh [175:45] you know the hardest part when you're [175:49] reserve component national guard is is [175:53] when you are scheduled for training that [175:56] is always on the weekend or at some [176:00] point in time when you would have [176:02] conflict with I I need to be doing this [176:04] other thing at the same time and and [176:06] military wins and you get used to it. [176:09] It's just that's the way it is. So there [176:12] was many times I'd love to been doing [176:14] something else but uh mission [176:18] at the end of the day is number one. So [176:21] we would leave and go do that. The [176:24] military is is challenging [176:28] but is also very rewarding. [176:31] Um, I was very fortunate with a 41-year [176:34] career retiring as a twoar. [176:38] But there's a there's a reason we were [176:40] able to accomplish that. And one of them [176:43] is much the same and as it is in [176:46] civilian career. You have to stay [176:49] current. You have to maintain [176:51] educational [176:52] uh requirements and and those that are [176:55] are prepared and those that are ready [176:59] will get the nod. And if you're not [177:01] willing to invest in uh your career, [177:05] whether it be military or civilian, um [177:09] if you're not willing to invest, it's [177:11] going to be a challenge for you in life. [177:13] So, you have to invest in in your career [177:17] or job or profession, whatever it is. [177:20] You know, I guess my uh the service had [177:24] a uh a really good impact on on my life. [177:28] It it taught me that you have to you [177:32] have to stay current. You have to [177:33] maintain. You have to continually put [177:36] your best foot forward and uh that being [177:39] as an reserve component guy, a national [177:42] guard guy, um I also figured that out [177:46] that you had to do that in Monday [177:48] through Friday as well as Saturday and [177:50] Sunday. And so I think that uh that [177:52] really helped me in uh in my uh civilian [177:56] endeavors also. So, um you know, you got [178:01] to put your best foot forward every day [178:03] and people notice that and um and you [178:07] really have to do that. I don't miss the [178:11] work that the service brought every day. [178:15] I miss the people [178:18] and like I said earlier the the military [178:21] is a people business and and if those [178:24] that can manage people get along with [178:26] people and get the best out of people [178:29] will be successful in the military also [178:31] and it's really about the people taking [178:34] care of the people and enjoying their [178:37] success as well and then you'll do just [178:39] fine you when I joined the military we [178:43] were in the Vietnam era [178:47] And as I [178:49] grew and and proceeded in my military [178:52] career, when we we started deploying [178:54] organizations, [178:56] it was pretty evident that we had not [179:00] done [179:01] a good job as a nation when we returned [179:05] soldiers from Vietnam. [179:07] and and that experience and and that [179:11] sight picture uh allowed me to to really [179:15] help us in the Minnesota National Guard. [179:19] How do we return soldiers [179:22] from a deployment back to civilian life? [179:26] Uh the Beyond the L ribbon program has [179:28] got some fingerprints of ours in in that [179:31] and and although not the main person [179:34] that we were able to affect that and uh [179:37] that was really really a uh a good thing [179:42] to be a part of uh an important thing to [179:45] be a part of and and a project that is [179:48] really well done still being used today. [179:51] So pretty proud of of how our [179:54] organization, Minnesota Army National [179:56] Guard, brings soldiers back from a [179:59] deployment and reintegrates them back [180:02] into civilian [180:04] jobs, professions, careers, and civilian [180:08] life. [180:10] And we were part of uh you know helping [180:14] General Larry Shelatoa [180:17] bring that program to fruition. [180:20] um has been a great organization and a [180:23] great tool to bring soldiers back in to [180:26] civilian [180:28] uh endeavors. Um [180:31] you know, we we've helped many [180:33] organizations, been a part of the [180:34] Minnesota Military Family Foundation for [180:37] um 19 years. Uh um that one was a was a [180:44] a fun one to be a part of because we [180:46] were making a difference and um so I'm [180:50] that's the one I spent most of my time, [180:52] energy, and effort with and and very [180:54] proud of what the Minnesota Military [180:56] Family Foundation has accomplished [180:59] um since its inception in 2004. It's [181:02] pretty easy to show support for the [181:04] military and it's really can be very [181:07] simple. If you see somebody that's uh or [181:10] know somebody that has been in the [181:11] military, just a simple thank you is is [181:14] pretty pretty easy to do. Doesn't cost [181:17] you anything other than a little bit of [181:20] your time and and it and it is a reward [181:23] that most people don't understand. And [181:25] so simple thank you is really really [181:29] means a ton to those that have served. [181:32] [Music]